Re: Questions

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Apr 28, 2008 at 00:41

You're not paranoid AT ALL! It's very nice and courageous of you to share your story with us!

On-line dating just isn't a favorable experience for a healthy relationship no matter who's involved, or how you shake the dice. I've learned that most of the people on there have nothing better to do with their lives but putz around on the internet all day.

First of all, don't fall for the stereotypical idea that he's a nice guy because he's non-Western or talks sweet. You MUST put that out of the equation entirely if you're ever going to know what's really going on. Why? Because I promise you ever single women on here who has been scammed has had the pillow talk, the compliments, you name it. It even happened in my case.

"Questions- How do you know if one of these guys is lying to you or scamming you?"

Asking for money is a big one, wants to get married in a sharia law court, tries to guilt you into giving money with some sob story (that's actually a sales technique that strippers use to get money out of horny men).

Gets angry when you ask personal questions.

And changes things as the relationship gets more serious.

The age difference isn't so obvious, but a lady was on here recently saying she overheard a man say "well, why date someone twice your age when you can get a white girl who's 24 and she'll get you a greencard."

"Does anyone have a success story of meeting a man on vacation in Egypt and it working out?? I hate to sound like I don't trust him, but I'm not naive, I do realize that I don't know him all that well, and although he hasn't given me any reason not to. I know you shouldn't just blindly trust everyone,"

Don't blindly trust ANYONE, much less everyone. Trust MUST be earned.

"and Egyptian men targeting American tourist women seems to be a pretty common problem."

Well, many of these relationships do fail

"No, I haven't discussed this with him, partly because it seems so insulting to him, but mostly because I don't think there would be any point- if he is trying to con me, why would he tell the truth about it if I asked him? "

Ok, listen carefully: Unlike other scams that you've probably heard about in the media, dating scammers--men or women--are NOT afraid to confront you, or even throw away the relationship altogether if you don't submit to them. They will NOT sweat under the collar. By this time, they are counting you to be emotionally, and if they are lucky financially invested in this. It's a sales trick that's kind of like "too late to turn back now!"

If your man gets offended about you asking too many personal questions, GET OUT NOW. All guys who are good daters and interested in a woman KNOW that it's always best to let a woman talk and lead the conversation because 9 times out 10, they are the better conversationalists and don't want to say something stupid.

This has happened to me so many times with women: I'll ask them about where they work, their degree and they'll do one of two things:

1) they'll ignore the question and/or change the subject

2) they'll say how rude you are, and in the case of guys, they might get very sad or very angry. Don't give in over an emotional whirlwind! It's all a trick!

I dated a woman over myspace once who used to do this: get angry, shout at me, call me names, tell me I was a little boy and not a man (well, can't really argue that one I guess :P ], even threaten suicide. In other words, blackmail me for money, and I was stupid enough to fall for it.

In the end, it was a ploy to get to my wallet.

---

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".