Muslim hospitality - Christine FYI

Submitted by sara (United States), Apr 30, 2008 at 17:14

Hi Christine,

I read what you described about how incredibly hospitable the Muslim family was to you. Yes, it is indeed amazing.

When I was 18, my boyfriend was swindled by a muslim man and he invited us to his home near Gaza to repay his debt (my boyfriend caught him red handed). We stayed there for several weeks amongst the most amazing hospitality I have ever experienced. Say the word chocolate, they would run to buy some, meals at all hours, taking me everywhere etc. I felt like a queen and was also waited upon hand and foot as you say.

In the meantime, the guy's older brother saw fit to steal all my jewelery, some clothes, and my passport.

We made the mistake of mentioning this to our friend- we did not understand that this was the 'bakshish'- the under the table payment for all the wonderful hospitality. Once we made it public, they made a big fuss about tracking the brother, but of course, never found him...

I hope that this helps to illustrate the vast difference in cultures you are dealing with. In a Muslim house, you are always treated well, but they take payment in ways you may not know, and more importantly, it is acceptable to stab you in the back as you are leaving.

It is difficult for westerners to understand this mentality, where honor has very different meanings. In this culture for example, it is completely acceptable for a father or mother to murder their daughter for dishonoring the family. It is acceptable to lie cheat and steal if it benefits the family, or Islam in general, and is not publicly acknowledged. there are many other cultural difference examples.

But my point is, you can't only accept the ones that you like. I too love the hospitality, similar to the Japanese honor culture, but I do not subscribe to the other parts of it, like the stealing and the murdering, and I would hope you feel the same.

Its all or nothing. Western culture is admittedly not as warm and welcoming, but they also find it culturally unacceptable to steal from you or kill you.

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