Re; Erica

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), May 2, 2008 at 17:45

Hi Erica! Thanks for sharing!

Well, it's no wonder why you're attracted to this man he sounds intelligent and sweet.

But, what does that mean as far as him being a husband? Not much, I'm afraid.

There are two concerns here:

1) A quick marriage. People who marry quickly often end up in scams or horrible relationships. That's the trick that scammers use on both men and women, and it's NOT exclusively done by Muslim men. Russian women are notorious for this, and whether its them or Muslims, I promise that once the marriage ceremony is over, POOF! It's like a switch gets flipped. Just look at what Dr. Pipes wrote above: that women are literally pressured into becoming a submissive, covered, sheltered, the MINUTED they walk into the Saudi airport by the family.

With Russian women, well, they come over here, and then they ignore their man, learn English and how to drive, and then leave.

2) He expects you to go and cry to your room like some weakling. This may seem innocent enough, but it's VERY odd. A lot of times, Muslim men will hide their REAL beliefs about religion out of, believe it or not, political correctness. Because they know that religion for the most part is dormant here in the West, and they don't want to alarm the woman. But you'll get subtle hints like this every now and then.

It's clear to me he expects you to submit to him. Is that something you really want to deal with for the rest of your life, because it's not going to change. In fact, if I had to choose between the most ardent feminist and a traditional Muslim male, I'm going with the man. Why? Because 9 times out 10, the man always gets his way. Call me sexist, but that's what the numbers even in liberal Europe say.

I think there's more here than meets the eye, and the distance is the issue because you don't get to interact with him very much.

Erica, all on-line, distance relationships start out like this. Nice, fuzzy and warm. So do sales pitches from scammers. But meeting someone a few times isn't a gauge for marriage. In fact, it barely passes the dating stage.

I met a woman on-line and stayed in touch with her over myspace. We only lived an hour away, and that was a disaster. Our relationship was on and off for 1.5 years, until I found who she REALLY was: someone who couldn't say NO to any other guy.

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