just because you are older

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), May 6, 2008 at 19:34

First of all, I can understand how and why you are attracted to this man.

But no relationship, even the worst ones, are bad ALL the time.

I dated a woman once for about a year and a half. We mostly communicated over the internet and by mobile phone (the WORST way to have ANY relationship with another human).
And we had lots of fun, the kind of fun you'd have in any normal relationship. With all the kissing and intimacy, I too thought I had finally found the real thing.

But the catch was she was seeing other men, even hours after we got together.

And soon it got to be an abusive relationship for me emotionally---the name-calling, the swearing, the insults, all it takes its toll over time. Day after day, night after night, I put up with it because I thought I had to, because we were close.

You MUST understand, that is how these liars and scammers work. They'll make the relationship seem nice to get what they want. That's all it is, a show. You say you can't believe it's fake? Well, with my woman, I didn't either. If you're kissing or being intimate or whatever, yes, by the very definition of human biological nature, you WILL feel close. There's absolutely no way of getting around it. That's why you have to ascend that and look at it from the outside in.

I don't mean to sound crude, but people do the same thing that you and your man do in porno ALL the time. And that's not real. After the filming boy and girl go their seperate ways.

And that's exactly what happened to me, and it's happened to a lot of other women on here as well. It's so common for people to get deceived in the worst way possible.

Do you want to know why this hurts? Because if this man REALLY loved you, he wouldn't need anyone else!

Listen, and you're not going to like this, but it's probably true: He wants you just he can have a Western woman. That's it. Different culture, skin color, chance for him to spread Islam, believe, there are plenty of reasons why this man is after other than love.

Especially since he's playing the field. My woman did the same thing to me. Time after time I caught her messing around with other men. But I thought I had to stay with her because I loved her, until I realized, that this isn't love. That I was being used for money so she could go off galavanting around.

The hard truth is, american, that as far as he's concerned, he's been honest with you, and well, if you stay with him (a bad idea) and get hurt, well, that's your fault. And it isn't.

He's not going to change. If he's going to marry someone from his own culture, then believe that! MOST people do that in every single culture, and often times they don't see outsiders as equals or treat them as such.

Your feelings of getting hurt are not going to get any better by staying with this man, they are going to get worse. I mean, you think it's bad now with him just playing the field? Just wait until you and his first, TRADITIONAL wife are under the same roof, and he's in the bedroom making love to her while you are doing the laundry and making supper. I could write pages about how polygamous marriages are emotionally straining on everyone involved. Well, except the man. Heck, he's having the time of his life.

This is what happens, because I cannot emphasize enough that he doesn't love you, nor could he. Aside from all the emotional abuse, men just DO NOT consider long-term relationships with older women. It just doesn't happen.

So PLEASE leave this man. Let him have his traditional wife, if such a woman will even put with his flirting.

Yes, it won't be easy at first without him. It never is, even over the internet, which is the most unfair thing about on-line relationships. But in the end, you'll be better off and find someone who does respect you, and just because you are older doesn't mean it's too late for you to find love elsewhere, ok?

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