Re secrecy

Submitted by yasemin (Canada), May 11, 2008 at 13:40

If it's true that he hasn't told his family about you, the reason is probably because in muslim families, the only acceptable wife will be first of all muslim, then same age or younger than the husband, a virgin, and preferably from the same culture. A man can be disowned for disobeying these rules. To be cut off from family in the middle east is a fate worse than death in these cultures.

You can't know the depth of family loyalty unless you have been there. It could be that his family may want an arranged marriage and so he doesn't tell them about you. If i were you, i would just say goodbye. He could marry you and you think everything has been resolved but one day he can just leave because his family has given an ultimatum - do the arranged marriage or else he will be disowned. In other words, choose - them or you. Go find a new life before it's too late.

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