re discussing feelings

Submitted by yasemin (Canada), May 12, 2008 at 19:27

Zella mentioned how useless it is to "discuss your feelings" with him is absolutely correct. In fact, to think of doing this, given what i now know about these cultures, seems almost laughable. Democratic discussion in a relationship is not part of the culture.

Now here is what has led you to believe that you can discuss your feelings....They are very good at giving the impression of having deep feelings but you must remember that in these cultures it is all an act, a performance. Underneath the act is a cold-blooded practicality that has no morality - everything must serve the interests of family. A frightening psychopathological coldness you don't want to know first-hand. There is no room for individuality - everything is according to the centuries-old script - marry a muslim woman from their own culture, procreate in order that the family will always be looked after. Take the poster's advice - don't waste anymore of your life - just walk away. Otherwise you risk such heartbreak if he goes first in order to marry the woman his family has chosen. She may be waiting for him right now, in fact, they may be engaged. Or worse.

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