Christina, Some insight from another guy

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), May 14, 2008 at 20:02

Hi there Christina

Your man is sending you mixed messages.

First of all, it's good that you didn't take money from him. It's never a good idea to get involved in relationships with money until after you are married.

I think it's important to understand that some guys just like to tease girls as a way to get them to feel nice and happy, but this goes beyond your basic teasing and flirting.

Some of the things that he has said seem pretty hurtful and rude. That you've been with a lot of men? Saying that to a Western woman is almost another way of saying you are a slut. I'm sorry if that offends you, but as a guy, it's how men act sometimes, and that's how a lot of women would take that to mean.

I don't think that he respects you, Christina, even if you are a Muslim, the fact that you aren't a virgin weighs on his mind. To some Muslims, this is very, very important. Maybe he just cannot muster the strength to break up with you.

A lot of times, men will use women from the West as play-toys for sex and flirting, even if you are a Muslim. I'm a religious person, and in college I had the same mentality: outgoing, liberal women are easy.

Listen, Christina, your post was very geninue, but the reality is people who are religious and have predisposed expectations aren't really going to change. Even if you do continue to see this man, and even if you marry him, he could be the type of guy to hang your previous sexual experiences over your head and he'll still resent you for it.

It just sounds like he isn't going to (or maybe he just can't) get over the fact that some women aren't virgins.

If I were in your place, I would maybe try and find someone closer to home in the UK who isn't so unforgiving on past experiences.

I realize that this is probably not want you wanted to hear, and I sympathesize, because you seem like a good natured person, but the man you are seeing doesn't appear to entirely think so.

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