Moroccan bf- already has US citizenship- but still said I Love You too soon!

Submitted by Amy (United States), May 25, 2008 at 12:52

I met my boyfriend in Casablanca, but he won the green card lottery 12 years ago and has been living in New York City for 12 years (I have visited him there as well). He has full American citizenship, including a passport. We have been together 6 months, but I travel most of the time for my job, so don't see him in person as much as I would like.

Lately we've able to see each other more frequently, and he's been talking a lot lately about love and marriage and babies. But it is waaaay too soon for that kind of talk in terms of where we are in the progression of this relationship, and I don't know what to make of it. He says he's just very emotional. Whatever! I've been burned enough in the past to be very very wary.

Most of the blogs I've been to talk about the green card scam, but I'm wondering what other kinds of scams there could be. I do have a higher income than he does (haven't discussed my exact income with him), but have also made it clear that I have some serious financial troubles with some of my real estate and that it may take me a long time to get back into the black.

He has financial troubles hanging over him from his past, but still managed to buy a house for his family back in Casa, so it's not like he doesn't have anything. In fact, due to my debts, he probably is better off than I am considering income vs. expense ratios. But I still feel like he may have some sort of perception that I'm a "rich American" or something. Like the scam could be that he thinks if he marries me he can quit his job or that we'll send all the money back to the family in Casa, I don't know......
you just never really know what's in someone's head!

I am only 1-1/2 years older than him, am attractive and not overweight, don't have any kids, so I don't fit into the profile of what the typical scammers are looking for.

For the most part he is very sweet and generous - when we go out he pays for everything, but only if it's high price, then once in a while I offer to split it. I did have a huge red flag once when he asked me if I would marry his brother on paper to bring him to the U.S. I told him absolutely not and that I would never ever ever change my mind about it.

I said that I felt so offended and uncomfortable about that, and that he didn't understand how difficult the process is and how huge the penalties are! I said I would help him find information about legal ways to help. I also told him that I believe that the assets a person has before a marriage should be kept legally separate afterwards, and that the couple should just build together from there.

He has still stuck around despite all of this, and his ardor is increasing. What else can I do to test him? If it's real I don't want to throw it away, but if it's a scam I want to move on ASAP! I have a full and exciting life with lots of travel and friends, and I am definitely not needy. But I am getting near the age where I would like to settle down with a sweet man, and I like him so much better than the other guys I've dated, so I guess I'm doing my due diligence and trying to stop myself from falling in love before it's too late...

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