Did I get conned?

Submitted by broken heart (United Kingdom), May 30, 2008 at 16:53

I met a man 17 years my junior when I was on holiday in Morocco. He was my driver for a long weekend into the Atlas. I was not looking for anything but a tour when I went. As it was just the two of us for two days we had no choice but to talk and get to know each other. During our first day he was kind, attentive and this eventually led to him asking me if he could kiss me. Though I was not initially attracted I said yes and enjoyed it. The second day we had sex as I enjoyed him intellectually and physically.

We spoke on the phone for 3 months following our short visit - he would text and I would call. I just got back from spending a week with him as I was desperate to see him again. On the first night, after we had sex, he said he did not love me and that nothing long term would ever happen between us. As I had created a fantasy life for us over the 3 months on the phone I was crushed.

The balance of the week was a roller coaster, he would be kind one minute and distant the other. I had bought him many gifts because I cared for him. He never said thank you, but clearly liked the gifts.

I had my computer with me and he asked if he could keep it if I said it was stolen - no way and he never brought it up again.

He frequently referenced that many European women had offered to fly him to France, italy etc... which he declined because he was not someone that could be bought or used for their pleasure. Why bring this up? - a desire to prove that he was not the stereotypical Moroccan man and that he had dignity?

Is there any chance the man liked me? He gave me a sad story about needing money and I gave him some when I left. I cried a lot with him and he would hold me until it passed. In my heart I think he liked me as I was very nice and I am a very attractive well traveled woman. However given his background, financial situation and view of western women he used my attraction for him as a way of getting money and gifts. I would like to beleive that the reason he told me on the first night that he wanted nothing long term with me and that he did not love me was that he was conflicted about wanting material things but also did not want to hurt me as I had no ill will towards him.

I called him upon my return to London and he was very nice, but had to go and would text me later. It is now 3 days later and nothing. Could it be that he had respect/feelings for me and decided to spare me any further financial demands? Am I stupid for wanting to be his friend and go to visit him again but with no gifts this time?

Would appreciate your sage and candid advice.

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