Once respect is lost is the only option to walk away?

Submitted by broken heart (United Kingdom), Jun 1, 2008 at 04:44

Miriam:

Thank you for your kindness. You come from an amazing country with beautiful warm people.

I have reconciled myself to the fact that a long term relationship will never blossom with Hamid. You were kind to think that it was he that was older, it is the other way around - I am 17 years older than he.

I don't know why I am still so eager to stay in contact with him. I like learning from him as his life is so very different and he, unlike many men of his background and life, are able to talk about it intelligently and with perspective.

Given that he has lost respect for me because we were intimate is there any chance for a platonic friendship ? Is this even done within the Moroccan culture that I am referencing? I know it happens within the upper economic and educational strata of the society as I have work related friendships with several men in Morocco.

I know he wants to have a better life. It must be very difficult to not have much and as part of your work see tourists everyday that arrive with the latest things from all over the world. I can only imagine the frustration and desire that this creates within someone that does not have many opportunities to improve their economic condition. Being a gigolo appears to be one of the few ways to do so.

I am wise enough to know the gift game, but I wanted to give him the things as I can afford to do so with no issue on my part, and I desperately wanted to give him some happiness.

I am struggling with the decision to try to keep a friendship versus deleting all his contact information and waiting for the scar to heal and disappear which I know it will eventually do. I will always think of him and hope that he realizes all of his dreams (family with a traditional wife, children) as he deserves to, I would just prefer to do so while retaining some contact.

Would appreciate your insight as a Moroccan.

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