soul searching

Submitted by Miriam (United States), Jun 3, 2008 at 16:00

Hello,

In regards to your question about maintaining a platonic relationship, I might have to say I doubt it could be possible. I say this because in Morocco, there is no 'platonic' relationship especially as you noted if it is out of the 'professional/intellectual world'. But I'm not telling you that all relationships conform to cultural norms because God knows that there are many out there that would be highly disaproved of.

Wether you want to have a friendship with this man or not relies Firstly on getting to know him better in terms of his marital status (!!) as someone else noted, because you sound like a kind and sincere woman and I'm sure you would not want to be an interference in that department... despite that you may already have unbeknown to you; and despite that this man may not have a problem with sneaking around.

Because I really don't know the nature of this man, I can't give you a stereotype or typify his intentions for you, however I can tell you that many but not all but Moroccan men due to the culture and their financial situation (70% in poverty) really don't have a concept of a relationship with a woman that isn't sexual if it's not marital. This is in part due to the status of women in Morocco; it's been a long and continuous struggle to have women seen as equal beings within society and not just entities of the home and care takers of children. So what I'm telling you is that this idea of a platonic relationship, especially with a western woman would probably be laughed at, his friends would absolutely see you as promiscious... if you can get past all of this, and if this man is really unique which i'm sure you will feel in your instinct, than maybe you two can be friends... even if it means being a little rebelious and on "the fringe' of society...

i wish you the best of luck and i would say that you should definently give it a try and if it works then it's worth the efforts.. and if it does not work, and you find he is insincere with you, then pray to god that the relation ends abruptly. you don't want to waste your time; life is too precious to have heart ache for someone who wouldn't have the same ache for you.

You are right, that Moroccans can be very sweet and kind hearted, but beware my friend that some men and women as in all countries can be very decieving and will take advantage of a kind soul who is willing to give. You seem kind and genuine, and your wisdom can tell you with clarity if this man is a good friend/partner for you; just be sure not to let your logic be obscured by idealistic illusions or emotional dependencies...

i hope my advice helped clarify some things, if it didn't confuse others , and feel free to ask about everything i'm happy to discuss with you if it helps.

best regards

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