To LUCI

Submitted by Junaid (United States), Jun 3, 2008 at 20:33

Dear Luci,

I am a Turkish guy who has lived in the US for several years now.

As difficult as it may sound, you need to get away from this guy. And it doesn't seem to be a "Turkish thing". He probably likes you, but not enough to commit to a longterm relationship. Therefore, if you keep on meeting or talking with him at his whim, you will regret it down the way.

The fact that he told you to find another guy clearly indicates that he is not ready to commit to a serious relationship with you. But he is not brave enough to fully end it himself, and this is why he wants you to find a new guy, or cheat, or the like so that he feels less guilty leaving you.

Also, I believe he is sincere when he says he does not want to hurt you. Here is why: He is not ready for a longterm relationship with you, but knows that if you keep on seeing him you will always have a hope that sooner or later he will permanently come back to you. But because he won't ever come back to you, you will be disappointed and will be heartbroken. Because he likes you enough, he does not want you to go through this and he doesn't want to feel guilty because he made you go through this. Also, he might feel uncomfortable about seeing you because he feels that might be taking advantage of you while not promising anything for the future.

I feel for you and believe that you will be better off ending it asap.

Best wishes,

Junaid

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