response to "question for moroccan woman"

Submitted by miriam (United States), Jun 6, 2008 at 19:18

Hello,

I'm not sure if your aware of it, but it is a phenomenon that older western women are taken advantage of by younger moroccan men; often this happens through internet relationships.

It is unfortunate, and if you are asking my opinion, I think the men who do this see it as an easy steal. Think about it, if you are poor and desperate for the most part, and you know of a store that is owned by a blind person, and that this store in particular is quite easy to steal from, you might let the darker side of you overcome and steal from that store.

This is not to say (for all those who quickly take offense) that western women are blind or are "stores", but just to show you what can and what does happen in some cases where the person involved is especially vulnerable, and the thief is especially tempted. I would say that not all men would do this at all. In FACT I have known many many Moroccan men who, if passing the store of the blind man (so to speak) would NEVER think to steal, the better aspects of a muslim education and upraising winning out. You have to know that there are so many great Moroccan guys out there, who are kind, upfront, generous, charming, funny, and really with great hearts. But then there are those others. Now, it is those others that you have to be ware of. These are the people who are driven by greed and selfishness and who can easily lie to a woman if they know she will fall for them. These men lie and eventually their lies will be shown, and the woman will be left pissed off and angry at her self for falling for such a helpless man.

The key to knowing if your man is good is to ask yourself if he is motivated to work hard for a living, is upfront. if he is accepting gifts and money (in this case... you've got yourself a man who lacks integrity.. i'm sorry to say, because even the poorest man with integrity will not accept gifts as you have mentioned). So, if your man has these traits, then you've got yourself a good, loving, hard working, lovely man! But if you've got one from the other group, it's a dangerous endeavor as this man will lie to himself as much as he lies to you.

As for when i see a western woman walking, holding hands with a moroccan man, in my very personal opinion, i can usually assume what's going on just by the look on the moroccan's face. If he's got a boastful look, or he's whispering sweet nothings into her ear.. i usually assume its a game. But if they are looking like they respect eachother, and the man seems more serious, humble you might say, then i can assume there is a feeling of genuine care between them.

As for if it is acceptable for a younger man to be with an older woman, I will enlighten you with the must respected fact that the Prophet Muhamed peace be upon him married a woman 15 years his senior which was a very taboo thing to do, but none the less they were in love; she was a wealthy woman and he was even a poor man working for her! So let that give you some perspective into that issue.

Again, my very personal opinion- if I knew a man who i was aware had scammed a woman, I would NEVER in my LIFE even CONSIDER being with him, because immediatly i would know that this man is a selfish, faithless (in my case is important to believe in God because thats just who I am), ignorant man who behaves as a boy not thinking of the consequences of hurting a woman.

I think whether they feel guilty or not depends solely on that person. Maybe some do feel guilty, but perhaps they can reason with themselves and say to themselves "but im desperate, and she is willing to help"; so you see it's easy to convince oneself that it is ok, but ultimately it's an illusion that gets them what they want... a normal life with a car and a house and a job.. if their lucky.

Alright, and I want to put it out there (because I've had a complaint from one woman) that these views are mine and I am not claiming they are perfect, but they are my insight being a woman from both worlds. If i for some reason insult "western women" as one woman has charged me of, I am very sorry and it should be known that im not here to degrade or insult anyone, i may have simply been trying to show the persective of the few uneducated peoples that exist in this world... and again not all moroccan men are bad, many are so wonderful. but there are the bad.

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