Ok, Stella, Here is something to think about

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 9, 2008 at 06:28

Hi, Just for the record, I am not Moroccan. I am a western woman who married a Moroccan man recently. I am not impressed at the assumption made by many Moroccan or middle eastern women who think that their men just view us as toys to play with and throw away.

Really? Well, I'm just to say I'm not impressed with your criticism of us, and that your love is blinding you. I feel you may want to look at some the interviews of Muslims men who live in Sweden and Norway. They see Western women, like you, as nothing more than a play thing.

I remember reading about an interview in Norway about Somali men who laughed when asked about white Norweigan girls and how they make good sex partners. Of course, when they marry, they will marry another girl---from their own culture, who is a Muslims, and therefore a virgin.

I suppose I should mention that one Oslo clinic was overwhelmed with so many rape cases, they couldn't keep up.

I also read about Hamid. Hamid was a rapist in Sweden. When asked if he would ever marry a Swedish woman, he laughed and said he wouldn't marry a Swedish sl-- I mean, woman, he said as he caught himself and smiled. No, he would marry a girl from his culture who was pure and a Muslim.

There are men who fall in love with women from everywhere in the world and visa versa.

You're right! Trouble is, the women don't love them back! In fact with men, the scams are even worse! All the women do is show the guys a picture of a model that stolen from another website, say they are "in love" and he sends money no questions asked!

Or, if you really unlucky, you'll end up dead, like an American who was dating a Brazilian girl over the internet, went down there and was murdered!

Off the top of my head, I can think of two murders of USA citizens from dating people from other countries.

As for me, well, I once met a woman on-line from Suriname who wanted to meet with me in the mountains of southern Mexico.

I wonder what for.

Every situation is different. I am older than my husband and I don't care who looks at us on the street. He looks older for his age and I look young for mine.

I hate to break it to you, but most people probably don't care. That's one reason why these scams don't get reported very much---NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE!

Sorry if that sounds rude, but it's true. Normal people HATE DRAMA!

Many people had a negative opinion about our situation and even I doubted that it was real until I watched very carefully and realized it was my own mistrust and suspicion that was causing problems.

You just got lucky. The odds were very much against you in this. Even so, you're not out of the woods yet. There was one woman on here who was more critical than even you were of me. She even told me I was teetering the line with islamophobia (a word I don't recognize) and racism. Three years into her marriage her Moroccan "man" was cheating on here and she was asking me for advice.

Men are all the same. They like the chase and if you let them, they will try to get away with as much as possible. They are the same in the western world.

That's funny, I don't chase women. I have better techniques than begging and floundering around like a complete, needy fool. Is that what your man did? Pity. Maybe you just gave him more leniancy because he's Moroccan.

If you care what people think and keep asking for opinions, you will set yourself up to fail with this guy.

Getting an outside opinion on issues like these is critical, especially since most of these marriages fail! Those are the facts, stella, and facts don't lie, but Middle Eastern men do!

Or maybe like all the other man defenders you just want us to shut-up so Islam can spread for jihad or you can feel better about yourself for being with this man of yours? It wouldn't be the first time I've seen it. Or maybe you're just excited about the new baby?

I think maybe deep down this has to do with some insecurity about your marriage or the reputation your man's race. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

Just this past March you had some pretty deep concerns about paperwork.

Should any of those be the case, I really feel sorry for you, stella. And to all the women on here who have been doing this, it's nothing new at all. I've seen before many times with numerous ethnicities.

Going on the internet to defend your marriage is one the most pathetic things you can do. People who are secure with their relationships don't need on-line approval.

The truth is right in front of you. There are users everywhere, evening some Moroccan women are users. I have seen enough young beautiful ones with old disgusting men and I am sure I know the reason. This is a third world country where people are desperate for a better life. We would be no different and there is nothing wrong with wanting a better life.

I really had a good laugh at this. There are users everywhere, for sure. But I'll bet you're more offended if we say a Moroccan uses someone as opposed to a Russian woman.

Therefore, it's okay to meet a stranger on-line and trust him and marry him. It can't be as bad as meeting someone in real life, oh no, because they are users, too.

Nice rationalization.

Unfortunately, the facts and stats and studies done show the complete opposite. If nothing else, this forum does.

Stella, where you meeting people on-line because it was easy? That's why I did on-line dating.

There's an eerie liberal message here: Oh, they just want a better life, so it's okay to use other people, and we would do the same.

I wouldn't, and I know what it's like to be poor.

As far as women dating older men, that's much more common, because men are fertile throughout their lives, whereas women are not.

Such is the case in country ruled by bigoted Muslim men who fear the empowerment of women and the growth of Christianity spreading like flames from the south.

That is what is found in Islam, and that alone is the chief factor in what is holding Morocco back.

I took a chance and finally believed that my boyfriend was sincere. I had every paper signed to protect my assets for many reasons. First of all, I hope we never divorce, but in that unlikely event, I know that who you marry is not who you divorce and we have agreed already how the assets will be divided. He actually liked the idea. It also saves me from someone ever telling me that he married me for financial reasons.

In a sharia court, this means nothing. You would need 4X times the evidence to even be on par with him. But maybe you live in the West?

So I am not sure if I am answering your questions or getting to the point, but simply love smart, but don't hold your heart back. Hold your finances close to you because you worked hard to get where you are I assume. You can love someone without giving up everything. Have your boundaries and make him work for you. Let him see that you are not jello without him and believe it.

This tells me that you still don't 100% trust him. In a real, successful marriage there is no holding back. I guess that's the difference though with Middle Eastern men and Western women, huh?

As for the age difference. I too was concerned, but I believe that I am worthy and my age brings experience and understanding that a younger woman will one day thave too.

Sorry, but as someone who is 26, thinking that a man my age will love someone who much older than them is only deluding themselves. Even the dating sites concede this at their own expense.

As far as the child goes, Congrats!

Unfortunately, it still doesn't prove anything regarding relationship legitimacy, and I 'm guessing that's what your post was about. The reality is, some women need to have two or three kids with a guy to realize it's bogus, and then he leaves and she gets as desperate as ever.

Look, Stella, so far, you're lucky. Even in your post, you admitted you took a chance, almost like it was a gamble (well, it really was).

But the reality is, most of these relationships fail due to cultural differences. Even in our North America, most people don't outside the race. It's just that people who are similar have a much better chance of a successful marriage than people who are different. Opposites attract, but similarities last a lifetime.

I guess I could go into once more about Latino, Nigerian and Russian women, but I've learned that in talking to women married to Middle Eastern men that they don't care, unless another Middle Eastern man they know is dating one and they want to make darn sure that everyone on here knows that women from everywhere love Middle Eastern Muslim men because they are so great with their tan skin and charm.

I'm not sure how you feel about that. Regarding others who have done this on here and elsewhere, it just tells me that their motives are all about making their man and his culture look good so they can feel all warm and fuzzy inside like good little multicultural apologists and liberals.

Trouble is, in the realm of fact and reality, they don't have a leg to stand on.

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