Broken Heart

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 11, 2008 at 22:55

Understanding the reality of his interest in me gives me the freedom and caution to continue the conversations. However, he does not see it that way. This is where he is different. He does not want to be a gigolo, and friendship with no material purpose is not common in the culture. I got the impression that he felt bad about using women, but again, too much desire overcame the mind. At least he has the decency to let you know the truth about his feelings and long term intentions.

Doesn't want to be a gigolo, huh? He just wants you to buy him all kinds of fancy things even though he's told you he doesn't want to be involved with someone outside of his culture.

You can't buy friendship, broken heart. EVER. I realize you are hurting, but you must realize this. And it is NOT Moroccan culture that you should have to buy him electronics.

Yeah, I've experienced that whole deal before too. I got my myspace woman the ipod she wanted so badly, and guess what happened?

It only made things worse. Oh sure, she was so excited at first and real nice to me. But, did it make her quite seeing other men? NO!

And you know what she told me, broken heart? She told me that after I brought her laptop, ipod and helped her get a new car, she said it was all giving between two friends.

It was an interesting "friendship", especially considering all the making out we did. Funny, I wasn't even aware that is was.

That was her rationale for cheating on me every week since the day we got together. And how nice it was for her to tell whenever I bought her something we were dating, but when she was having cybersex with other men, it was just friendship.

After our relationship was over, she insisted that we be at least friends. For five months after we broke it off, she kept calling and e-mailing.

I agreed to give her one last chance, and she insisted she changed. I meet up with her, took her out, and I finally got down to the bottom of what she wanted:

The ipod and the car back that her parents made her give me back after finding out what she was really up to.

Oh, she didn't ask directly, of course. For the car she asked if she could take it to go and see relatives because it got better gas mileage.

ha ha. Good one, even back when gas cheaper.

I told her NO, and later on that evening she asked for the ipod. I told her no, and she insisted because it was a birthday present I had given to her.

She also kept saying how it wasn't "fair" that I should have the car and have to make payments on it. Besides the downpayment, she didn't pay another cent. Because she had the car, she also had the insurance on it, which she wasn't paying (even though she could afford it). She wouldn't even cancel it after I got the car back, and the company said she had to do it, yet she would not. I had to get a female that I knew to call the insurance company, literally pretend to be her, and get it canceled.

As you can see, it was all about the material things all along. After I gave her that second chance, I told her off and haven't heard from her since. All I did was call her out on her plans to get all the stuff back.

Broken heart, it's clear that you want more than friendship from this man. If you do meet up with him, chances are, something intimate may happen again. Only thing is, he's a guy, no matter how charming or insightful you think he is, he can take the hits of one-night stands. I don't think you can. And that is normal. I don't think I could handle something like that either.

The reason I told you my story is because liars are liars regardless of where they come from.

So what if he feels guilty? He should! He's using you!

I could see that a part, just a part, broken heart, of the myspace woman felt guilty too.

But it wasn't enough for her to stop and say, look, this isn't right.

She even asked in such a way that I still offerred to her. She only told me she felt bad about it to alleviate her conscience so she could enjoy what I bought her.

I really think you are setting yourself up for a parallel situation as to what I went through, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

There is no shame at all in seeing a therapist. None at all. My only gripe about them is that it's important to find someone who won't tell you what you want to hear.

The good news is that violence is not prevalent as it is in many other countries and material things are charmed from you rather than taken at gun or knife point.

I think of one such case involving an American man and a Brazilian woman where she killed him after he came to visit her in Brazil.

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