Hello, Lilly

Submitted by Zella (United States), Jun 13, 2008 at 19:24

This site might well prove to be a gift that keeps right on giving. By this I mean, there is a great deal of insight to be gained from these postings.

Before I can offer any advice, I need to know how and where you met this man as well as the ages of both you and he. Age is a major factor. If he is younger than you, the outcome is going to be anything but pleasant. You have a teenaged son. Get involved with this man and you will not only be the mother of a teenaged son but you will also be a caretaker to a man who fits the classic textbook definition of a "case of arrested development."

There are many dynamics to consider when a western woman becomes involved with a man from a country like Maroc. First of all, do you want a man that you are going to have to take care of and undoubtedly take care of his entire family? I doubt that you do.

These men are narcissistic and very immature. They have been raised by women who have little if any power. "Love" is a western word, not a word that is used in the average household in Maroc. Women are taught that if they want to fall in love, they should have sons and love them. A man and a woman marry for one reason. Procreation. Marriages are often arranged and a bride price is paid. The woman must be a virgin. Have you ever heard of the manner in which a bride's virginity is proven? I shall call it the "bloody sheet syndrome." You are not a virgin and you are not Muslim. You are, however, a ticket to a western country, not just for the man but for the man and his entire family. This man is sweet and kind right now. Once he snares you, he will be anything but kind and sweet. Even if he should come to this country and live in your house, he will find other men from his country and they will be the center of his social life. You are "woman" and you stay home, cook, clean, make plenty of money on your job, be available when he has time for you, and send money back home to his family. You can take the man out of the country but you will not take the country (Maroc) out of this man.

Lilly, if this man was mature and from a stable family he wouldn't be having a so-called love affair on the internet. He is after your money and he will play with your heart and soul to get what he wants.

I am sorry to be the first of many to burst your bubble. My suggestion is that you purchase some books on Islam and learn about the religion so you can better understand the role of women in countries such as Maroc. If you want to help anyone in Maroc, donate some money to shelters for women and children. Let the men take care of themselves. This man probably has at least ten other women and possibly some men that he is flim-flamming.

Once he realizes that you are an intelligent woman who cannot be charmed by a snake, he'll find someone else to use. Good luck and let us know how you are doing. You have POWER, Sister. Use that POWER.

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