To Zella - re women's power

Submitted by yasemin (Canada), Jun 16, 2008 at 17:33

Zella, your comment about women being powerful jogged my memory. Women in these countries are virtually powerless and this situation is reinforced by the legal system. I fear for women who find themselves in abusive situations in one of these countries because of the fact that noone will protect them - the police won't interfere, saying it's a family matter. Western women don't know the legal system there and that ignorance can be fatal. Judges rarely grant protection orders and even if a woman obtains one and the man breaks the order, the police will deny it's their responsibility to enforce it. What will the woman do then ? They need to think in terms of worse-case scenarios but what woman in love would ever do this ? Not many. I am one of the lucky few and maybe i'm alive today because of having a female divorce judge in my husband's country who is sympathetic towards western women in my situation and thus i was able to get the protection order.

I'm also a mouthy broad and stood up to the jerk's threats towards the end because of the protection order. He knew i had the consulate watching out for me also. I learned to give back what i got from him. In a less secular country i wouldn't have had this advantage. But after reading your words, i suddenly recalled the times he threatened to have me incarcerated based on lies and maybe he could have done it. Women must keep in mind that they are very vulnerable in countries where women's rights do not exist as they do elsewhere. A western woman may receive help but it's in name only as they strive to give the world a good impression of their country as being modern. In the end, it's the man who will be protected so say bye bye to any thoughts of compensation.

These days i just laugh and tell people i had the deluxe tour, which thankfully ended before the honor killing i expected to happen anytime due to my causing a delay in the husband's legal marriage to the other wife, an act that brings dishonor to my husband's family ( go figure the logic of that one ). But as i laugh, i hope people don't notice the shaking of my hands. The memory of those men with criminal faces staring at me on the ferry in Istanbul and me wondering if they were hired to erase the family problem and always watching watching in case...

I wonder if any women reading these warnings will listen - people can't imagine what it's like and only believe what they want to believe.

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