Compliments

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 17, 2008 at 16:02

Okay, the thing about compliments: they really wear down over time. In his ebook Dating Secrets Revealed, Marius Panzeralla talks about compliments. He's pretty critical about how Western men give and receive compliments. For one thing, Western men have tendency to over-compliment, and it sounds like this what your man is doing. Eventually, this is going to wear down, because when you compliment someone too much, it diminished the meaning.

The other issue is: when he compliments you on-line, it's virtually impossible to tell if it is false flattery.

He's probably telling you that because he's trying the unique angle. I'll bet most guys tell you are pretty and you think "oh great, another man hitting on me." Marius writes about this in his book.

He also mentions something that Isis had pointed out: communication over the internet doesn't allow you to calibrate your emotional states. This is what women call chemistry, but it's usually up to the man to take the lead on this.

I can see now clearly why this man is appealing to you.

However, it's imperative for you to see through this. I mean, if this is what your relationship is about, it's not fit to survive the rigors of an intercultural marriage.

Lilly, it's very clear to me how you feel about this man, and I understand what you are going through. But if you don't believe me that isn't a good idea, fine. At least listen to Zella and Yasemin, because they've been there before, too.

I give you kudos for at least having the gumption to question this, and give yourself credit. You are a lot farther along than I was with my myspace woman, that's for sure. I had Zellas and Yasemines in my life who were giving me advice and I was too stubborn and proud to listen to it.

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