Key Warning Signs This Isn't Real and What to do About It

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 20, 2008 at 22:32

Hi there!

Well, it's easy to see why you are attracted this man. He's younger, probably more fit and charming to boot. He's from a resort area.

Whenever there is an age difference in international, distance relationships, this is a serious red flag. In North African culture, men simply do not marry older women. In fact, it's rare in any culture. What you MUST be aware of, amy, is that there is growing trend of older women from England who have flings with men in North Africa who are much younger, 30 years in some cases. But that is all these are! They are temporary encounters, and that is it! It's also a trend in the West.

Some women on here have complained to me that it isn't fair, because older men often date younger women. The difference is that men are, for practical purpose, fertile throughout their lives. Women, on the other hand, aren't.

As a guy, I can say from experience that we are attracted to younger, fertile women when a relationship and marriage come to mind.

The second red flag is a quick marriage. Bad idea, no matter who you are dating. People who want a quick marriage often have something to hide or some sinister motive. In Islam, unlike Christianity, marriage isn't a sacrament, it's more like a legal contract, and that's what scammers and liars are after. See, people who are spontaneous are much more likely to buy into something.

The third is all this calling and messaging. This is a dead give away. Men who know the dating game do NOT call, e-mail, or message very often. They know that women value their privacy.

I really have to ask you, amy, would you REALLY put up with this from a British guy? I've lived in Scotland before, so let's say I called you everyday and asked you to marry me. I bet you'd tell me a few things that can't be posted on here and hang up.

Really, amy, this is a sign of insecurity and desperation. It's also a sign that he might be a really controlling person underneath, meaning he'd be jealous of any male friends you'd have and not allow you to see them. That is my perception as a guy.

I've also had this happen to me numerous times when I talk to women on-line. I've lost count of all the on-line messages I've gotten from desperate, emotional, or angry women.

Fourth, the other thing to understand about resort areas: They are never representative of the host country or culture. Many times, people there are paid to be nice to Americans or even British. I currently work in the travel business, and trust me when I say that no matter how strict a country is or how much they don't like Westerners, economics will always, always triumph in the eyes of government.

So, what do you do about it?

Block his number, heck, if you have to , change your number. I know it's not easy, but I once dated an American girl over the internet mostly, and after I broke up with her and cut off her money supply, she called ALL the time. She just wouldn't stop, any and every little excuse she could find to call me she would, then she eventually started e-mailing me.

Amy, this guy will not stop until you TOTALLY cut off ALL contact.

Block all his ID's, or uninstall instant messenger if you have to.

I know, I know it's not easy and you may not be able to talk to your friends over it, but really, this is ridiculous and it may be the only option.

Some women I know would consider what he's doing stalking.

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