Answering Abby's Questions

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 26, 2008 at 18:25

thanks for the advice....i was wondering about your girlfriend who cheated on you? was she from america (american) or from across the pond (not american)? were any of them from Morroco, or from a different culture? or were they part of a scam?

She was an American who lived an hour away from me. I actually am acquainted and friends with several people from North Africa and the Middle East.

The American woman was just out for herself. She just wanted to get money and material things from me, so it wasn't a visa scam.

I have investigated the Russian and Nigerian dating scams before. Most of those were easy to figure out for me at least.

The dating agencies are tricky, though. That's where the real money is.

the part i want to know about with so many of these stories, is "how did these relationships end"? its never quite clear on who dumped who and at what point these relationships ended.

With the American woman, she was the first to dump me. This was before I knew who she really was, and once I started getting her more and more expensive things, she decided that we were dating. However, after I found out that she was lying to her parents, her friends and her roommate about the nature of our relationship and had cheated on me, I left her. A few months later, I gave her a second chance, but it was immediately clear she had not changed nor was she ever going to change. So, I just stopped contacting her and told her flat out that I knew what she was up to.

She never bothered to contact me again, until I confronted all of her cheating-men friends and her other friends who harassed me in the middle of the night over the phone or on myspace.

She knew she had lost and was probably looking for someone else.

The other situation worth noting was with a woman from Russia. She originally pretended to be from a town 5 miles away from me, then she immediately apologized and told me she was falling in love with me. I simply wrote her back telling her (nicely) this wasn't going to happen.

Another case that comes to mind is when I was talking to a woman from Suriname. She was good, I'll give her that. She was an East Indian woman, but again, all the red flags were there: ignoring my questions, calling me rude for confronting her, wanting to meet in a remote area in Mexico...
I just blocked her and stopped talking to her.

Part of me always wonders what could have been, but I think that's normal. The last two weren't so bad for me, because it was too far and expensive. But the myspace woman really nabbed me.

i read about everything that happend, the money, etc. but no one has said, "one day when we went ot meet online, he or she...blah blah blah......i would truly love to hear from anyone, how their relationship ended.. the words that were said, and the situation. this would really help everything i think.
well, yes, i know what you are saying.

In September, nearly a year to the day we met on-line, I got a strange feeling after talking to my American woman on the phone. She had given me her myspace password to prove to me she was being faithful, but I never used it. This time, however, I logged on to her myspace and found out that while she was spending my money, She was going to meet up with a guy and give him oral.

IMMEDIATLEY after I found out, I told her on Yahoo, and she went insane. She asked me "so, are you leaving?"

I told her I wouldn't.

Yet, as I was on the computer, I could see that she was on now on her myspace and deleting every message she could. I read through most of them going back to Feburary, it was clear she was up to no good. Let's just say she wasn't very through in deleting them.

We were still pretty young, so all four of our parents were involved to an extent, and they ended up talking.

The revelation was that my girl was telling people different stories. On the one hand, she told me and my family that she would pay me back for the car and computer I helped her get. On the other, she told her parents they were gifts.

This actually spread. Her roommate from college, who was home for the summer, also noticed inconsistencies. At first, she didn't like me very much, but grew to accept our relationship, but it's just my myspace woman kept on lying to her about it--to make her feel better for one, and the other was because she was the most critical out of ANYONE over my buying her stuff.

She was afraid her roommate would blow her cover.

Naturally, it didn't take long for the whole dorm floor to find out what was going on.

So, the myspace woman just kept telling her we weren't together and I wasn't spending any more money on her, when in fact I was spending more.

Eventually, she caught her red handed doing this and they stopped being friends.

She also lied to her "best" friends on myspace, who lived 800 miles away. She told them one thing, and then me another. In fact, she was in a relationship with one of them while she and I were dating, and the person she was dating was about as clueless as I was.

She was even trying to arrange for a an engaged friend of hers to live with us so she and him could fool around! I talked to the fiance of this guy, and she was told something different too, that all four of us would live together, but my woman told me it would just be us three!

What happened after we all pieced this together was slowly materializing into a big joke. Her parents agreed to make her give back all the stuff I had brought for her, and her parent was telling me that she was "having trouble finding some of the things."

How convienent, huh? She has to give them back and now she can't find them!

Once I got her computer, I searched it high and low. I originally told her I wouldn't, but something pushed me to. I even went so far as to log into her school e-mail.

What I found out was astonishing. HOURS, Abby, HOURS after we had decided to be in a relationship, she was sending naked pictures of herself to other men.

I also found her IM logs for Yahoo. She had been talking in the middle of the night to other men the entire time for cybersex.

So, I just quit talking to her. She called twice a day, and I could tell that it was probably a therapist who told her to do this. After about 1.5 weeks of that, I told her she didn't need to call here that often anymore, because not even my friends do that. So every holiday, she called. Just to wish me well. Yeah, right . Eventually, I just gave my phone to a relative to screen the calls.

Eventually, I ended up giving her a second chance, so I went to meet her. She told me that two of her friends had offered to come to the same restaurant and if I acted up, they would take me out.

But immediately after we met, it was the same thing all over again. Car I borrow the car? Can I have the ipod? It was a birthday present, Luigi. I did offer to buy her groceries, since she didn't have anything hardly to eat, but I guess even that was mistake. Yeah, I guess I did it hoping something would happen, which I am glad it didn't.

After we had broken up, she had apparently moved to what in America are called crack houses. A crack is just like it sounds: drugs, thugs and homeless people frequent those places. Of course, the whole story could have been a fake, but one way to look at it: She was going to one of the best private schools in the country a year ago, and now she's in a crack house. All because her grades suffered because she couldn't get off of stupid chat and myspace or her silly phone. She was supposedly almost raped, too.

In spite of all of this, we were going to meet a second time. As if by some twist of fate, the weather got bad, as it often does in these parts, and there was no way I could go. She still wanted me to come, though, despite it not being safe. My family kind of talked me out of it too.

That was that. I just had enough. She wasn't going to change anyway, and she seemed mostly concerned with getting the ipod back.

After that I messaged her and told her I knew everything and aside from confronting her friends two months or so later, I never heard from her again.

So, I guess it was a mutual break-up, for me because she didn't change, and for her because the well ran dry.

i ran into the Nigerian scam for several months last year. but, it was so obvious these guys were scamming, it was very elementary and quite laughable. if you ask the right questions, you can almost figure it out in a short time.

Good for you! But they're still running it because they make money off it! That's the only reason, so there's some poor saps out there getting suckled, and I bet it's mostly men!

But unlike these guys, the North Africans who do this are very patient with you. Otherwise, all these on-line scammers are the same.

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