Some things to consider

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 27, 2008 at 22:04

Hi Cheryl!

Thanks for sharing!

There's a couple of things I would like you to consider.

1) You may have already seen it, but a quick marriage is never a good idea no matter who you are with. I don't think you should like you HAVE to push up a wedding to fit an immigration timetable, and if your man is advocating this, it's a bad sign.

2) I think I may understand what you mean by home office pages. These are more or less just general descriptions and a marriage should certainly not be based on these nor you should expect your man to act according to any series of customs sheets. I suppose they are better than nothing, but a marriage is obviously deeper than that, and they're just interested in more or less legality than your happiness, frankly.

3) I did already make this remark to her, but if nothing else, understand that marriage is not the finish line. International dating scams have a way of going due south once you say "I do" and the person you knew is gone. It's not always as dramatic as Dr. Pipes describes (although what he says is accurate), so you need to be careful.

Cheryl, I really don't like the sound of this. It seems to be moving along pretty quickly, and I would urge caution on your part. I can understand why you dubbed this experience as positive, and while you seem like a nice, normal lady who wants happiness in her life, I cannot emphasize enough that if you think negativity may seem rough in the posts, it's even worse to experience it in real life.

The thing is Cheryl, many women think they've got the real deal and have even met their man and married him only then to find out who he really is.

It's not even exclusive to Muslim men or men in general. I could spend all day telling you about the women I've encountered overseas.

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