re wanting to help these men

Submitted by yasemin (Canada), Jun 30, 2008 at 15:57

This is exactly what i too felt - that i, being from a first world country, so insufferably superior in my attitude when i first went to Turkey to meet my future husband, could help him. And it was me who first suggested bringing him to canada ( for all the so-called advantages), which i later learned was not his goal. I was simply a source of money to give to his family and to pay for his marriage to the other woman.

I wonder how many of the women who come here seeking advice feel that same drive to better the lives of these men. Misplaced philanthropy to be sure. Some do want the visa but many of these con artists love their country and don't want to leave their own culture. It's thus important to recognize how much of our feelings for these men is motivated by a feeling of guilt from being so fortunate to live in the western world with its possibilities.

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