To Zella

Submitted by Jr (United States), Jul 8, 2008 at 16:44

Jr, life is a very short journey and I do believe that the Creator of Life wants us to be as happy as we can possibly be. We make our own happiness and sadly we also make our own hell.

I agree.

I think you know exactly what you want to do and I also believe that you will make the right decision. Your husband is a sociopath and he isn't going to change. Sociopaths are narcissistic and everything is the "me, me, me syndrome". (Just like a toddler experiencing "the terrible twos", he wants what he wants when he wants it). Functioning adults learn that we get what we get when we get it. I hope I am not confusing you but trying to understand the dynamics of a socipathic personality is not an easy task. It's like trying to make sense out of a non-sensical situation.

I have to disagree with what you are saying about my husband being a sociopath. I don't believe that to be true at all. He may be selfish, but that doesn't make him a sociopath. I'm sure a lot of it comes from the culture and their upbringing. I just have to decide how much I'm willing to tolerate, I guess.

Nevertheless, you deserve happiness. So you made a mistake. Haven't we all made mistakes? Of course we have and of course we will as long as we are on this planet. Toss this man out the door and let him go back to Moroc. To be perfectly honest, he's not going anywhere. He'll find a group of his homeboys and before you know it, he'll be sitting in an internet cafe right in the U.S. and guess what? He'll be flim-flamming as many men and women as time will allow.

I just wanted to clarify that my husband is not from Morocco. He's actually from Bangladesh. I'm frustrated, but not ready to toss him out the door yet. He's not a bad man, not even close.

Does he love you? Of course not. Is he honest? Of course not. Does he give a damn about your dogs? Of course not? Pack his clothes in a lawn and leaf bag and place it on the outside of the front door. Change the locks on the door and begin to live. Right now you are merely existing. Life is a short journey. Drink it down to the bottom of the cup.

I'm not sure how you can make so many assumptions just based on the little bit of information that I gave. I do believe my husband loves me, in his way. He may be dishonest in some areas, and he doesn't care about my dogs, but I'm just not sure that's grounds for divorce. Perhaps I'm being the selfish one, wanting him to conform to my idea of what the perfect husband should be. Who knows?

By the way, to those of you who have read my post, I wanted to update you that my husband got his permanent resident card in the mail this weekend. So, I guess if that's what was keeping him in this relationship, I'll know soon enough.

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