Farrah, Our stories are similar

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jul 10, 2008 at 17:27

Dear Farrah,

My heart goes out to you.

I've been reading what you've been writing for the last few months, and your story seems to be getting worse every time. I remember when you gave advice to others and said "Oh, I'm fine!", but now you're posting on the top telling us your story.

Farrah, the hill only gets steeper from here on out. This situation will NOT improve. It would be a like a Divine miracle if it did.

I can tell you've been thinking seriously about your relationship for some time now.

What bothers me is that the last time we talked, you said your man gives you all kinds of material things, but now it sounds like he's clearing out your accounts?

This whole situation with his "cousin" bothers me. First cousin marriage are permissible by some Muslims, and if he's talking to another woman in the way you speak, well, that is bad.

Female roommate? This is NEVER a good idea, Farrah. I think you let him get away with something here.

Look, Farrah, the thing is that he just isn't interested in you at all. He's clearly using you. All he wants is your money, and I think you're beginning to see it for what it is.

Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems like that you've been discerning this for sometime now, and it's all starting to unravel.

The thing is, Farrah, our stories are all alike. The extra female roommate, the money, no interest in you, all the same nonsense happened to me with myspace woman.

She wanted an a guy who was engaged to move in with us probably so she could fool around with him, she kept on putting on these guilt trips so I'd give her money and what happened? The whole time she was into other men.

She actually e-mailed me a week ago. I didn't even read it, I just deleted it.

Farrah, I really think that your guy is shopping around for other women, if not cheating on you already. Think about it. Sometimes, it can be worse than it looks.

The other thing is, Farrah, don't buy into the lie that religious men don't like sex. Men are men, and each have the same primitive level of biological wants. So don't think he's not sleeping with you because he's taking the higher moral ground. In my experiences, few people do this.

The question you pose is where can you go if you leave him? What I would do first of all is start saving up without him knowing if you absolutely can't leave now and make a plan of action.

You're an adult now, but I would first look to your family for support in this. It's just going to get worse, Farrah.

The thing about being a Muslimeh: Don't think it'll change anything. Sure, he may be happy and may even cry at first. YET, to some men who want this, being a Muslim isn't enough, you have to ACT like one to, and what does that mean?

Well, whatever he wants!

Clearly, that's money instead of you.

His loss.

Farrah, look, PLEASE, get out of this ASAP. I've heard and experienced almost exactly what you are going through. I can't tell you it's going to easy, but in the end, you'll be happier and better off. I can sense the resistance here that you'd rather not become a Muslimeh if you don't have to.

And the material things? I'm sure they are great, but they'll never bring JOY. They'll make you happy, but chances are, it won't last a lifetime.

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