a sweetheart from california....

Submitted by hisham zein (Egypt), Jul 11, 2008 at 20:06

long time ago..maybe longer than your ages, when at prep school i used to have a US friend as a penpal ..there was no chatrooms then ...

we wrote each other and it was very enjoyable writing ...we kept that way for 12 whole years that resulted letters that filled a 32" tv set box ...

we knew every single detail about each other ..we knew the odds and evens of each other ..the dark and the bright side ...we became almost one without seeing each other at all ..at all ...

postmen of both sides were keen to give us the letters personally knowing the importance of them

then after i graduated from the university she sent me a congrat postcard and said she may consider coming to cairo ....i was thrilled ...very thrilled ..but she didnt come untill 4 years later when she sent me a letter telling me she will fly to israel first because tickets are cheaper ....months later she called and said she will go to israel and i said i will drive to tel aviv to drive her back to cairo ..peace with israel was still fresh at that time but each part didnt really know the real intentions of the other so i had to go through many security procedures to have approvals to go to israel ...against my family will i went on ...determined my route ...till she called again she changed her mind and she is coming directly to cairo and gave me her flight details ...

at the day of her arrive "saturday night fever" and chariots of fire " were on the movies ..frank sinatra was due to perform at the pyramids, my favorite soccer team won the tournament and i started my own business ...everything was bright and colorful for meeting her

thrilled and anticipating i waited her at the airport ...till she came out ... my heart beats raced and i couldnt hide my real feelings ...i felt the very same from her side ..

three weeks she was to spend extended to four ..we spent 3 of them every single day every single hour and every single minute ..the other week she went to luxor ...

introduced her to my family...actually she spent her last week at home with us ..and the comfort of her being around was the greatest ..my family loved her so much ..my dad told me if he were any younger he wouldnt have missed the opportunity ...both of us were content . 2 days before she leaves and the bitterness of her absence increases within me i asked to marry her ....and her yes was instant ...it was said before i finished my proposal ...

we agreed that i go to the states to be introduced to her family who know me well from my shower of letters she got ...there was no 9/11 at that time so having a visa was no big deal ..no fingerprints no eye prints no huge paperwork .

then she vanished ...no letters ..no phone calles ...i thought something wrong happened to her ..i called her ..her brother answered ..she is shopping ...she never called back nor wrote ..that was not her at all ....

i was very crazy ...very worried ...was it because i told her i will live in cairo where i started my business ..was it because i told her we can arrange living in both countries during the year ....was she cheating me ..... did she say she loved me just because she is in a strange country to her ..i never asked her for a pair of jeans, nor money to buy medicine to my sick mother ..contrary to that she never spent a single cent in her 4 weeks here ..she was my queen ...

then she called after long long days of sadness and said she is having arabic lessons and she wanted to know of someone in the US who speaks the language to practice ...and i knew that someone ..a friend ...living in virginia ...i gave her his number ..then some 4 months passed with no word from her side ...i felt very much desperate of what to do ..till i decided to call again ..her mom this time answered and said her daughter is been in virginia for almost 3 months ..and in virginia she married that guy ...

worse than that they both came to cairo to visit his family and since i know his family i went there . our eyes never met . she avoided looking at me ... i was sad ...i was feeling like am stabbed from the back ... i felt there is something wrong ...and something wrong there wasnt ....

they left .....but left a broken youngman struggling to forget the dream of his life ....

we kept communicating for some months then not anymore

almost 28 years later she is still in my heart ,,still in my soul ..still in my mind ...when alone i think of nothing but her .... my marriage isnt happy maybe because of that ..its unfair to my wife but i do everything to let her feel happy and keep my pain inside my chest ....

ladies if you think you were cheated from men be sure there are cheaters from your side too .and the woman from california was one of them ...

maybe one if the reasons i dedicate part of my time to write in this blog is not to let anyone have the same bitterness i have ...and will live with me till i die...

love sometimes is so painful ...leaves scars that NEVER heals ...

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