Pakistani Men---Major red flags here, and a new word, cougars

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jul 30, 2008 at 16:44

Hi there

Well, I worked with a Pakistani man, and I did get a chance to meet both of his sisters. I don't think you can group all people from one gender of one country into a single basket, and I don't think you are but, there are some major cultural differences.

Pakistan is a more conservative Muslim country, more so than Morocco or Egypt, so I would keep that in mind when reading posts on here. Women there simply don't have the same rights as men, I'm sorry to say. I know that if you are raped, you are the one in trouble, not the men. From what other women have said on here about how in numerous Islamic nations it's not proper to date an older woman, I worry about your situation.

Honestly, it's a red flag in general.

The Pakstani man I worked with wasn't by any means a radical. He swore, drank and talked a lot about women. He had a temper. Once we were at a presentation in Congress, and I moved my foot over and spilled my glass of water on the carpeted floor of the room and he was very upset, also earlier because we barely found the room in time because I left the room details in the office by mistake and he was hungry and wanted to eat (it was like a luncheon).Typical guy stuff. But, he was one of the biggest patriots of the USA that I had ever met.

I can understand your attraction to a younger man. That is perfectly understandable. But, if you really want to have a long-lasting, happy relationship, you're also going to have be realistic. I realize he approached you (another warning sign), but older women who seek younger men in the USA are called cougars. I actually don't approve of labeling women like this, but such things are beyond my control.

In any case, a lot of these relationships are just flings. It's growing all over the West and in North Africa.

Look, I don't know what the age difference is, but I am 26, and I gotta say that I would have qualms about someone who was 28 or 29 for something serious as compared to women who are my age or younger (18 or older). Ethnicity really doesn't factor in this, and sure, at least one woman on here has told me that younger men and older women can date because it happens a lot the other way around, but that still doesn't change what happens.

See, biologically speaking, men are attracted to younger women, because younger women tend to be more fertile.

It seems to me that this relationship is moving too fast, if you're already talking about moving to another country and don't know anything about his culture. Fast moving relationships in this modern era usually spell disaster from what I've seen and experienced. As dating guru and Smart Dating Institute lead writer Marius Panzerella would say: The quicker you get together, the quicker you break up.

And you CANNOT rely on him as a single source, and whether it's hard for you or not, if you want a solid perspective on the Pakistani culture, you must look at critical viewpoints of Pakistan and Islam.

If he doesn't like that idea, then you've got another big red flag, because it's close-minded. I'm a Catholic, and I've heard every theory on what happened to Jesus--he moved to France and married Mary of Magadalana, He went to India to study with the wise gurus, and He never existed.

Listen, I've traveled abroad before, and even when going to the UK or Canada, I ALWAYS look at what the State Department has to say.

The fact that younger women cheat him? Ha! I've heard that one before. I think it's even on here to somewhere.

So, let's look at this objectively: You're on here, which means you need third-party confirmation whether or not go ahead with this, the relationship seems to be rushed, you don't know much about his culture, and you're much older than him.

This really doesn't look good, and if I were you, I'd pull the plug. Yes, you can learn more about his culture, but it still doesn't change the fact that he's persuing you in such a way that often involves some bad motive.

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