Stealing your heart over the internet and religious (Muslim) male abrasiveness, Co-worker myth

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 8, 2008 at 16:06

Hi there, and thanks for sharing! I understand that you are hurting and the unfair thing about on-line relationships is that if you're attracted to someone, it FEELS real. It has been like that for me on more than one occasion.

The key issues here are:

1) If he gets mad on-line, it's probably even worse in real life. Here in America, I dated a woman mostly over the internet (myspace). She had other on-line friends who would swear, curse and harass people on-line.

Don't have any more to do with people like than you can help. NONE of them were Muslims, and one of them was supposedly a rapist from France.

2) No relationship is always 100% bad. Ever. It's pretty much mathematically impossible. He wants to have a baby girl, great! But look at how he treats you. What if she wanted to be a Christian, not a Muslim? In my family, my uncle married a Protestant, and the kids were raised Protestant (against Catholic teaching) but one of my cousins decided she wanted to be Catholic.

3) I can relate to the temper of this man and how he feels, because I am a religious person myself.
What you MUST realize is that sometimes religious men sometimes HIDE their real selves.

How can I possibly know that?

Easy. Because I too am a religious person, and I've done it before.

Now, I don't think that religion should be discussed early on in the relationship necessarily, but I think that he's probably more religious than he's leading you on. Can anyone on here know that 100% sure?? No, but even you seem to have these doubts.

4) The most obvious red flag here in inconsistency. He says I don't care if you are a Christian, you can drive and leave the house, but when you ask about how women are treated, he gets all abrasive and angry or something like that.

5) Meeting his co-workers. His boss and co-workers don't go home with him. There's a key difference there. I'm guessing that most of his co-workers are male. There's really no way to say this without being stereotypical, but if a man knows he can help a guy get a girl, he's usually happy to help.

What bothers me here is that he's like Jekyl and Hyde, so who knows? He could be an entirely different person outside of work.

A lot of people are. They go to work in a suit and tie and they have a very irresponsible lifestyle outside of work.

It's great that he at least has a job, and maybe you wouldn't have to work? Sounds like a good deal, huh?

But have you considered the possibility that this is just a roundabout way for him to keep other men from looking at you? With his temper and attitude, I doubt you'd be able to have male friends.

6) Speaking of which, would you tolerate ALL of this with a man from your own culture? I have my doubts, because hiding you from other men is seen usually as a sign of insecurity. Maybe your man is trying to hide you and maybe not, but I would say that's what happening.

7) It's very possible that you are not really in love. What happens over the internet is that some of these men and women talk to other people and they don't give you much attention or information. Girls like mystery guys, generally speaking, and him leaving you as things get interesting in a conversation leaving you wanting more is a sign that some women also like. I think this plays a big role in how one "falls in love" on-line.

Meshoo, there is so much that goes unsaid over the internet. He may have stolen your heart, and I know what that feels like, it has happened to me too. But, you CAN and WILL get over him if you just plant your feet, stand your ground and say a firm and decisive NO.

Lately, so many women on this blog come here and then come back and struggle, and my biggest concern is them being able to say no and not revert back because of his sweet nothings or good looks.

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