Second Response to Carrie

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 10, 2008 at 15:35

Hi Carrie

Thanks for sharing that with me on the blog.

I think that you do have some important points, and the idea that you are the boss in the relationship brought a smile to my face.

Whenever you talk about your relationship, it's always easy to mention the good things. It's great that the both of you communicate well, and that you see him person.

So, what could possibly be the issue then?

Well, for starters, pretty everything you said has been said before. I can't sit here and predict the future and say whether or not this will work for you, and God only knows for sure.

But I REALLY feel the need to point out that other women have said the same thing, and have very defensive with me on here, only to have their relationship explode in their face.

And how could that be if the relationship is good, much like it sounds like it is for you now?

Because it's like Dr. Pipes say in his blog above the comment section: these men do a complete 180 AFTER marriage. Why? Because now you two are legally bound in state contract regardless of how you REALLY feel about each other, and the state doesn't really care either.

I also want you to ask yourself what brought you to this site, if there is something else that is bothering you, maybe the fact that others have had such poor experiences?

Carrie, as someone who has been burned by women and lied to from women all over the globe, all I can really do is ask you to keep your eyes open. You're not being paranoid for doing this either, you're being smart. I realize that you didn't come on here to ask for advice, and you have been very open-minded on here, but please note that even some married women on here.

I've always said that marriage isn't the finish line, and it's true. I was talking a lady a couple months ago who (along with her friend) resolutely defended her relationship, until he was cheating on her, possibly even as she was defending him and his culture on here.

I agree completely that ethnicity has very little to do with this, and I can understand your attraction to your new man after getting burned a Westerner. I won't ask for the details, of course, but I happen to know for a fact that some Western men just think that they can party their whole lives and have someone else (wife, mother or the government) clean up after them.

But please, please, be vigilant and don't let the fact that an Englishman hurt you influence your judgment about your man from Turkey. Don't be with him just to spite Western men. I'm accusing you here, but for all the other readers out there, it has happened before.

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