For TC

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 14, 2008 at 23:24

TC, the question are you crazy for trying to work this out?

Not really, but the results you are expecting won't ever happen. He's going to keep dragging you down.

I think it's ridiculous to think that you can change him. This marriage of yours was doomed from the start, as were many of the others that have posted on here recently. And to be fair, the exact same thing happened to me, TC, just without the wedding, and it would have been meaningless anyway, except for all the legal entanglements.

No one wants to hear bad things about their relationship. I didn't, and I know Yasemin didn't either.

Your rationalizations that "oh, well, some American guys get angry too." Yeah, I know a few of those guys, and they happened to be divorced. You are making excuses for him, TC.

Look, this isn't an Islam or Moroccan thing, it's maturity thing. You are always going to be like a Mom to him (like I was a Dad to the woman I dated), not because of your age really, it's just you're more mature than he is.

Such is often the case among relationships.

This isn't an age issue so much. Listen, I'm his age, and I have friends that age. I know for a fact that some of my friends, TC, will not change. They really seem to think they can party their whole lives and have a nice girl.

Not gonna happen. So what do they do? Make up all kinds of excuses for themselves, say how the girl is a b"""" and so forth. And to be honest, I don't think I want to listen to that for the next 30 years.

So, how can I know this? Because some of my aunts and uncles were like that. They grew up in the progressive 1980s and haven't changed much at all.

Look, TC, couples who are truly in stable relationships aren't even on here. Real love doesn't need the internet for support. We've been getting by without it out for what? a million years maybe?

I am more than happy to help, as I'm sure is everyone else, but at some point you have to realize that this isn't happening. If you need to try just so you can say you tried, that's fine! I don't think a marriage should end on a whim. No one can ask you to do that.

But you have to be realistic, here, TC, and I know this isn't easy for you, but see him for what he is, and as a guy, people like this just don't change. He already is getting at what he wants, and it isn't you, I'm afraid.

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