Time to let it go Polly. You cannot accept that, and he isn't into you like you think.

Submitted by John Toradze (United States), Aug 15, 2008 at 16:03

Polly, the bottom line here is obvious. He doesn't actually care about you all that much. If he did, he would have called you instead of the other way around. You also need to see that it wasn't just you that got something out your college relationship. It sounds like you supported him and listened to him at least as much.

The religous gulf here is not one you are prepared to bridge. It just isn't. He is much more sensible about it than you are. You have no idea at all about it, but he knows exactly what it is because he has lived in both worlds. I have a german woman friend that lived in Morocco with her parents who were Embassy personnel from the age of 8 to 16. To this day, that experience scarred her. Since she was not a Muslim, she was considered fair game by the men. Men would grab her, chase her, and molest her quite often. The ways that you are used to living scream "prostitute!" to them. It is not just that you don't cover up Polly. You don't cast your eyes down, you don't look rigidly at nothing in fear that your father and brother will murder you if you don't. You can't imagine the hatred and jealousy that will be thrown at you by the other women around him.

Polly, this is just one of those relationships that happen as we grow up. Learn from it, and understand yourself better. It is also worth knowing that women can smell genetic distance and find genetic distance very attractive. This is a deep instinct.

There will be other men. Just relax, forget about him and move on. Go out. Join a bicycling club. Join a hiking club. Go to engineering conferences.

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