The REAL issue on this board

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 17, 2008 at 23:15

Thanks for the input, Joz, but regarding the nature of many of the relationships described on here, whether they involve a Muslim or not, most of the ones I have seen detailed on here have not worked out or probably will not work out.

At the roots has very little to do with Islam, other like John T said, it's the context.

What is in context are

1) On-line, international relationships. If you did meet your man on-line, I consider you very fortunate and it's the exception that prove the rule

2) Cultural differences. You say that people just have to work through them. Sometimes, the differences are so great, Joz, that the attraction of one or both partners is NOT enough to overcome that. If you haven't already read what Dr. Pipes wrote, please do. He mentions how the woman usually converts to Islam (or really, has the kids raised as Muslims) simply because religion isn't as important to her as having a family. That is a common compromise, but many cases on this board involve much more than it, often to the point of neglect and abuse that is unreported yet common outside of the First World.

Just look at the census of any country, and what will you find: For the most part, I would bet, people marrying people who look like them, have similar ideas and economic status.

Why?

Because it's what they are most comfortable with. No amount of distortions in the Western academia and media about multiculturalism and tolerance and diversity can ever subjugate that. Ever.

Please understand that people on here are hurting and say things, many times, in the heat of hurt and pain.

Coming onto a blog and defending your marriage--especially if it is "good" is almost absurd. If you're marriage is seriously that great, why on earth are you even looking up this stuff, Joz? And I don't mean that in "I'm challenging you" sort of way, I mean it in a way that it concerns me.

See, the reason you don't find, Turkish couples, for instance on here defending their relationship or other Muslim couples is because of one simple reason:

They are too busy enjoying each other to care. It's also probably because they don't like drama.

Only people who have been hurt, like Clemmie, can fully 100% understand this. That's not meant as insult, it's just the way things are. There are just some things in life that one must experience to fully understand, and that is the common thread on here. I don't blame you if you don't understand it, Joz, but believe me, it is a painful experience.

It's not that a relationship like yours can NEVER succeed, but if you're going to invest time on here, although I can't imagine why if you're truly happy, then I would suggest looking at what myself and others say.

Most of the time, people are sensible on here, and when they aren't there's usually a misunderstanding.
Clemmie's advice isn't bad advice, maybe she could have said it a little better (there's plenty of times I could have too), but I think at heart most of the people who post on here mean well in one way shape or form.

You won't find a more decent blog than this, Joz.

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