To Annie

Submitted by Renee (United States), Aug 20, 2008 at 23:42

Wow! You and I are in the exact same situation. My husband is Turkish and we've been married for almost 5 years. We dated for 4 years before marrying, but nonetheless he has now all of a sudden become a different person. I have found numerous online chats/IM's with women, and other disgusting things (which are probably the same things you found too). All I know for sure is that we cannot fully understand the influence of their male-dominated culture. They can talk about how secular and liberal their country has become, but among the actual people it still revolves around the man.

I believe boys are exalted and mothers dote on them more over there and then they grow up to be spoiled men who think the world should revolve around them and that women are only there to make them happy. If they are not happy it is the woman's fault. This is exactly what happened with us - I went through depression and had to leave my job and I truly believe that is what changed him because he knew he could no longer hold up the image that so many of his friends have that own expensive cars, houses, etc and their wives have good jobs and they all go out all the time.

Since we wouldn't have as much money and because he couldn't understand/support me during my depression he turned to the internet and then had the nerve to blame his unhappiness on me! The saddest thing is we have a wonderful 2 yr. old child who has witnessed daddy being mean to mommy and mommy fighting back, etc, etc.

I am now in the process of divorcing him because something (God!) made me really look at him objectively and know that I cannot live out my years on this earth with such a selfish shallow excuse for a human being. In my opinion the reason they are what they are many times is because of their mother and the male chauvinism and exaltation of men over there. We just see their outer facade that they put on.

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