Suspending good judgement

Submitted by Astounded (United States), Aug 24, 2008 at 20:01

I've just finished reading almost every post in response to the Pipes article and can't believe that there are so many women out there who completely suspend their good judgement.

Are we in the West so starved for romance that we will #1 enter into a relationship with someone who is thousands of miles away, #2 is of a different culture and usually religion, #3 has no prospects in life and has to hook onto a woman to get money, #4 take the chance with our lives, children and future on the off-chance that it may be "the real thing".

#1. There good men just down the road, why in the world enter into a relationship with someone so far away and particularly with someone who cannot freely (without your money and help) come and visit you?

#2. You cannot look at Islam in the same context as Christianity. You must understand that Islam allows for the lying, cheating and having sex with Kafir (non-Muslim) women. Islam allows for wife beating and forcing your woman to have sex with you. It is a way of life and even the most "moderate" Muslim who does not go to Mosque will turn on a dime given certain circumstances. The almost always get worse as they get older.

Your liberty and all the freedom you know will be blown out the window when your man does not want other men looking or talking to you. What may seem normal in the West culture is reviled in the Islamic one. it's an honor thing and we've all seen the stories of what happens to women in Islam when there is even a hint of a man's honor being tainted (even if it's in his own head).

#3. Usually these men are from extremely poor countries. Now, I'm all for helping someone down on their luck but we in the West have NO IDEA how desparate these guys can get. If they don't have money, they don't even have the prospect of marrying well in their own country. You are taking the dregs of what decent women in their own country will not accepts. They have nothing to offer but good looks and flowery words. Many posts on here have already talked about the words going away once they get what they want and trust me, that handsome man in his 20s and 30s won't look so hot in his 50s and 60s... not that he'll still be around for you anyway.

#4. You see the signs but ignore them. He loves you, you love him... it's like a frickin romance novel but those are not real, they are a fantasy. After the initial bloom wears off, you have real life; work, kids, bills, illnesses, etc. This is not what long-term relationships are made of and it does not make for bringing children into the world in the way that they deserve. You have a son with one of these men, they will be brought up with the same ideology.

You have a daughter with one of these men, they will be watched each and every minute. The will not be able to go to prom, date or talk to boys which is normal in a Western country. They will hate you for your silence as their father controls every aspect and what happens when they insist that the daughter wear hijab? If they don't go that far, it is because they will not stick around long enough to be in their children's life or even worse, take them to the paradise that they've escaped to have her raised in what they believe is the "proper" way.

In the end, these men were all raised to mary a virgin and particularly one from their own country who knows her place. He may dally with and use you but you are not the ideal that he has been raised to look for.

My post is harsh, I know but women need to wake up. Go meet a nice guy that comes from the same background as you do. Relationships are hard enough without adding in different religion and culture.

How can you read each of these posts where each one looks almost identical to the other and say "my guy is different"? Why take the chance? Why don't you feel like you deserve more?.

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