straight_talk_luigi, internet etc.

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Aug 27, 2008 at 16:43

Hi Luigi,

Yes I agree that genuine love doesn't happen over the internet nor via any other electronical medium. The affection that one feels for someone over the internet might feel like love, but it shouldn't be confused with that at all. The internet can never substitute for real-life behaviour. Maybe a person has found someone that they feel finally "understands" them, or has something "in common" with. And it's easy through the internet to emotionally control someone (unlike real life, you can just click a mouse lol!), especially as you don't have to look them in the eye.

When you constantly receive messages saying "I love you" or "you're my world" etc., it's a form of psychological manipulation, & of course it's easy to fall into a trap. To me, these are only words unless you look someone in the eye whilst they're saying all that... but not everyone thinks that way, some people are easily spellbound.

No, not all interracial relationships are successful, of course. But sometimes people need to see others for who they are, and not their race. People aren't soup cans. That's where the problems start. Eg. some guys need to stop seeing Russian women as "easy", Westerners as "wallets", just as women need to stop seeing muslim men as "something different & exotic". Love shouldn't be so superficial. It's as bad as breeding with someone just to preserve your own ethnicity. A lot of, say, Germans (as an eg.) who do that (marry for the gene-pool) wind up 20 years later realizing that they have a penchant for young Asian women. I personally refuse to fall in love with someone on the basis of their race.

And yes, it's true that a lot of women on here are divorcees, and therefore they resort to a charming arabian man who showers them with compliments and makes them feel like a queen. Of course that's often the case (but I won't judge everyone). Of course a tanned, north african romeo will seem like a God compared to their unsightly, miserable ex-husbands in the West or wherever. They will learn, however, that men are men wherever you go on earth - just with a few different cultural values. This is why it's horrible to go out with someone just to make yourself feel good. Going out with someone just because they're exotic is almost as bad as dating someone just to con them, but it's true that most of us have had this desire.

What (especially) women need to realize is that guys from Turkey or wherever may look different, but one day the exotic appeal will fade, and once you've had a taste of his Turkish delights, you will see that he's just a normal man. He won't be footloose & fancy-free forever... he will want to settle down & start a family one day. So think carefully before you get in too deep, and find out more about his culture/history. I find that guys who have had a complex childhood turn out to be more demanding/problematic. Make sure you know everything about him.

One of the problems with failed marriages is that people look at their husbands/wives and they find that the person they married when they were 20, 21, is no longer who they have. They look but they can't see it, it's like part of them died. This will be a problem for those who marry their exotic new "handbag" - a couple years down, they'll find that their fat, rude husband is no longer the cute, charming waiter that they met in Cairo. So think carefully about why you really want to get married.

It's interesting what that author noted about change. Women (& men) should see that if their lover asks them to change too much about themselves, there isn't much point in their relationship. Your lover should like you for who you are, just as you do him/her... otherwise he/she will continue to ask you to change, & will never really be satisfied.

Haha, yes Luigi I have to say from experience, it is true what you said about the kooks being on-line at 3 am local time, I wonder why that is.

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