Response to NurseJo on Turkish man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 29, 2008 at 21:31

Hi there NurseJo! Thanks so much for being open-minded and for being so detailed!

Here are a couple of things to think about:

1) The webcam. It helps, but it's not the same as being in person. You can't touch him, for one, or better yet, see if he'll touch you first. The other thing are things like mirroring. Mirroring is where the both of you reach your coffee cups at the same time, things like that. The second thing is: relationship success depends on calibrating your emotional states. Marius Panzarella notes these two concepts in his 2004 ebook "Dating Secrets Revealed"

2) Saying that all cultures have bad people. They do, no question, and I don't any regular poster on here really thinks that all people from one place are bad even if they say so under emotional duress.

A problem that has arisen on here is that it becomes an excuse. Women say "well, it's okay for me to pursue this because there are bad men everywhere, so I'll be alright." They say this and completely ignore the dynamics of the relationship.

3) What you say about Western man, I hear ya. I've been critical of them too. There are plenty of them who seem to think they can party all their lives until they drop dead at age 90 or whatever. It doesn't surprise me at all that this man didn't want to commit.

I can certainly see why women feel driven to the ends of the Earth to find a good man. Yet, cultural differences can't be ignored. This is why so many quick marriages talked about on here are doomed. There's a common phrase known as the Honeymoon phase, and if you marry too soon, you end up marrying in this phase when reality sets in. I know this doesn't pertain to you, though.

The other side of the coin: I know there are nice guys in the West. They're probably just as frustrated as you are. I would encourage all women on this site to consider looking into finding these men.

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