Belinda, there is a real trust issue here

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 30, 2008 at 17:47

Hi Belinda! Thanks for sharing!

First of all, there is clearly a trust issue here. You are seeing your man in person, so that's as good as it gets. So if you don't trust him after months and months of dating him, well, then it is time to move on.

Listen, Belinda, most women I know wouldn't even be the girlfriend of someone they didn't trust. I think you really need to ask yourself if you are just giving him special treatment because he is different.

Secondly, the whole family thing? I don't know enough to comment. It's possible there is someone else. In some Middle Eastern cultures, cousin marriages are permitted.

Third, the whole talk about marriage? It's nonsense to me, because you aren't even sure about him, Belinda! And at this point in time, well, you've known him for a year.

Look at the title of your comment, for one: "he's just a boyfriend." Ok, nothing wrong with that. But you obviously don't feel the same way he does.

This sudden change is a red flag, because now for some reason, he wants to speed things up from Lebanon no less.

There's a lot here I don't know about. I think that maybe your suspicion is up also because the last two months have been long distance.

The thing about him saying "Oh, I won't pick anyone over you." Don't take that at face value 100%. Be realistic.

He could be after a visa, he could be looking to get you into a quick marriage so he can give your money to his family. I wouldn't be surprised if that would be the case, considering the coincidences. Or maybe he just doesn't understand the dating game---you don't leave for two months and then expect to have a child with that woman when you come back.

Fourth, interesting how if he was so serious that he didn't invite you along? I'm assuming he didn't?

I hope that other women will weigh in on this, but I don't like the sound of this, Belinda. ANYTIME you need third party confirmation on a relationship like this, it's bad news. The reason why so many women come on here is because they aren't sure, and if you're feminine instincts tell you something is wrong, especially when seeing this man in person for an entire year, then I would listen to them.

Look, no one likes heartache and heartbreak, and I don't doubt you love this man. But what so many people don't realize, Belinda, is that love isn't the only piece to a happy marriage. It takes MORE than that. TRUST is just as important. Can you imagine being around this man, but being suspicious? Would that be any fun for you?

Belinda, don't the fear of a broken heart ruin your life or your future. I had a major setback myself from dating an agnostic woman here in the States that was distance. Lots and lots of us here have ended serious relationships, even marriages, but in a lot of these cases, it's for the better.

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