Hi Broken Heart

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Sep 2, 2008 at 01:43

Welcome back!

I've read your most recent posts and I have to say that it sounds like things are starting to point up. Broken Heart, I think you've realized the particulars with your situation with Hamid, and I want to assure you that you can get over him. If the rest of us on here can do it, so can you!

I'm glad that you are getting help with this, Broken Heart. Sometimes, it really helps just to have someone who knows what the deal is to talk to and can help you.

I'm not sure how the tourism business in the Atlas Mountains are these days, but please understand Broken Heart, that Hamid's case is hardly isolated. The media will probably never touch on this, but the reality is in a lot of Second and Third World nations, the locals are paid, bribed or get some sort of incentive to leave tourists alone. Not everyone on here has believed me, of course, but look at it like this: you took the time to get to know Hamid, a bus driver I think you said he was, and it turns out he doesn't like Westerners.

While it is true that the West (especially Western Europe) is becoming more and more of an entitlement society, a lot of people work very hard and long hours for what they have. Hamid ought to take a look at Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, the Mississippi Delta, and Appalachia here in the USA.

We really seem to have two different scenarios in the West for striking it rich: some people, like one of my uncles, get the big cashflow over time, don't spend friviously, and make it big at age 45, 50 or 60.

Then you have my generation, which sees this and thinks (in some cases) that they "deserve" the same status. One of my childhood friends recently called her mother and complained about how she her father take cruises. She told my best friend: "We've been working for over 30 years!" While I do like my friend very much, she also seems to know where all the expensive restaurants are in her town, her mother said.

So, as you can see, it's very different. Hamid obviously interacts with rich Westerners. As I'm sure you know, going to the Atlas Mountains is expensive, and while you seem like a nice, straightforward woman, it's very possible that many of the travelers there are uppity and snobbish.
I work PT in the resort business right now, and there is nothing quite like the country club elite on a bad day. Rude, rude, rude. That's all there is too it.

Still, Broken Heart, Hamid should NOT have treated you the way he did. He may have just wanted to use you to express frustration at the West. Who knows for sure but God? After my myspace debacle, I was in disbelief that a person could be selfish.

I would also note that it's not just "cultural differences" grounds that bad behavior gets excused in dating. During the first part of the dating or relationship, it may be out of fear of losing the person.

I know exactly what you mean that Hamid was an addiction. This is a common feeling when you are intimate with someone, Broken Heart. I can certainly understand why you "craved" the attention after the negative experience with the British man, but having been in a similar situation myself, it's really important to be vigilant. Men, even ones who are not particularly pros in the "dating game" as it's commonly called, often sense this desperation.

This is a big concern of mine on this board because it pertains especially to divorced women, but if you've been with the same man for 8-9 years, like Reader Nursejo was with her Australian man, then you've been with someone longer than some previously married couples I know. So while the legal arrangement may not be there, especially if you live with that person (hardly a good idea), it certainly carries the same kinds of feelings.

I really hope you find some strength in this post, because like I said, BH, you CAN get through this. If I can and the other women can, I know you can as well.

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