For Charlotte: Defending on-line relationships

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Sep 16, 2008 at 18:47

Your post reminds me of the mainstream media in America and how they take snippets and completely distort what others say.

I realize this isn't written for me and you endured a painful relationship which is why you may commonly write negative predictions concerning peoples' relationships.

I'm not sure I like what you're implying, Charlotte. The reality is I have been through this myself and investigated it. Warning signs are warning signs and as far as borrowing money goes, I would not even do that with family. I see arbitration cases like that all the time, and I will continue to comment regardless of what you think, and I'll bet you won't even respond to this post.

I appreciate people holding concerns for others and shooting straight from the hip about their experiences. Which is why Im going to adress your letter as if it was written to me, because I do have a positive story to share:

So far you do. As I have said many times, marriage is not the finish line for international relationships. It may take months, even years for the relationship to disintegrate.

My husband, a Muslim Turk, has been living in the states for a year now. He is actually more kind and considerate here than he was on the internet or in our first visits with one another. As time goes by and we sink into the comfort of our co-existance I find myself more assured I made the right decision.

Oh yes! So comfortable, in fact, that you have to convince others of it because what they say on an anonymous blog bothers you? Or maybe you're looking for extra reassurance from people on here that it will work out?

I'm here because loving a man from another faith and region of the world is a HUGE part of my life. It is something many people are not able to relate to and hence I enjoy conversations with others who can.

Sounds to me like you're just using this as an excuse to defend him. So, how did you come by this blog anyway, and what exactly were you looking for? Care to share why you need to share your experiences with others? I don't see Turkish women who marry Turkish men defending them on here....

For the most part, people who are loving marriages and families don't need to talk about it on the internet. Their attention and focus is on each other. This forum has really become a support group, and since you've supposedly read my posts, I gather you would know that.

The fact that you are even doing this suggests quite a bit to me, Charlotte, and I'm not convinced.

My man is upstairs in his den reading his Turkish news website. He was just down here next to me about five minutes ago saying we would be going to bed in about fifteen minutes.

If you say so. Saying we would be going to bed soon? I guess I can see who wears the pants in that marriage. It just makes me wonder what your degree of freedom in the relationship is, Charlotte.

Success stories aren't the norm on here and they aren't likely to be, Charlotte. Most of the stories on here are scams, and some of the ones that are not will not work out because of cultural differences. Factor in the regular modern-day nonsense (thanks in large part to post-modern libearlism) of cheating and stealing, what usually happens is one person ends up getting scammed in a big way, abused, or finally realizes the odds and just decides it isn't worth the stress, money and headache.

That, Charlotte, is a dose of reality, and since you likened my postings to my previous experience with the myspace woman, allow me to give you an outside at yours:

It is very clear that in order to appreciate the pain and suffering that many on here have endured, you pretty much have to go through it yourself. Telling me in the first sentence "I understand you've been hurt" really doesn't do justice to it, because as bad as it was for me, it was nothing compared to some of the other stories.

Your situation, assuming it will still work out to happily ever after, is in the minority.

God Bless

Luigi

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