To Banita

Submitted by Amanda (Germany), Sep 24, 2008 at 02:13

Unfortunately, I think it's you and not him who is confused and lacks understanding.

For one thing, in a Muslim marriage, the wife doesn't come first BECAUSE she sleeps with her husband at night. There's absolutely no causal relationship there. Sleeping with your wife entails no obligation for the husband.

He doesn't want to lose you and is worried about what his family will think? Believe me, this is just the beginning of the conflict of you versus his family. Moroccans are brought up in a collective society. This is very deep-rooted. The group/family comes first, so you come second and you always will if you end up with him. It's cultural and this culture has made him what he is (just as our individualistic culture makes us what we are). His attachment to his family will be at your expense. So does it matter "if its cultural or just him," as you said? The bottom line is the same. YOU come LAST. Not my idea of a nice, loving, fair relationship.

The fact that he "doesn't pray" means absolutely nothing. The man I knew didn't either but his attitudes about nearly everything were so Muslim that in the end I threw him out.

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