Response to Lisa with her fiance from Morocco

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Oct 11, 2008 at 22:02

Thanks for sharing, now onto it:

No red flags? The fact that you are even taking the time to write me a lengthy essay says quite a bit to me, Lisa. Words are only 30% of human communication. You talk about me "proving" your man wrong, but I haven't PROVEN anyone wrong in the scientific sense, I just help women to realize what is happening and if they really want to take the chance and the problems associated with this mess.

You're trying to chalk up my responses as negative simply because you, Lisa, have a personal bias here. I've been around to long to fall for that.

Very well put Leesa.....I totally agree.....I have been living single for 4 years and I am very independent and raising not just two girls but also still have a 22 yr old son at home... I will be 42 next month and my Fiancee from Morocco is 32 and my son had friends almost his age interested in me and I showed no interest because I was not desperate....

So....then why are you dating someone who is ten years younger in a different country? The age difference IS a red flag, dear, and you said there weren't any? Think again!

Im an attracted woman and do not have to be..

I have no doubt that you are, and being 26 I do find women your age attractive, but when you talk about marriage or a solid relationship??? If you were dating a 32 year-old in the USA I would tell you the exact same thing, Lisa, and since you reference Leesa's response, she wasn't talking about Muslim men, but younger men and older women in general.

...but when I started corresponding with Mohammed he was much more mature than his age and so far these past 9 months have proved to be wonderful months. He has not yet raised one question that I have doubted. No red Flags....no asking of money....

That's how they ALL seem, Lisa, especially compared to a Western man who plays videogames all day. The whole idea behind scamming and lying to get what you want to is fool the other person.

He doesn't have to ask for money. In fact, they rarely do. Instead, they usually try and guilt-trip you into offering. There's a key difference.

Money is often a problem, but it's not the only motive for bad ideas.

We have no trust issues I trust him fully and he trusts me even with the ex coming around to visit the kids.

That's probably because he has the "I don't care attitude" that dating guru Marius Panzerella frequently writes about. This is the attitude that attracts women because it means the guy isn't clingy or needy, a real leadership quality.

.i have met his mom, sisters and brother on line and even a neice and nephew which he is proud of and I will be visiting at the family home next month to meet his family in person...

ONLINE??? You're trying to justifty this engagement by meeting his family on-line? How do you even know they are his family? And if they are, they could be in this with him! You've read my posts, but have you read what Dr. Pipes wrote about what happens AFTER the marriage to the Saudi men happens---they do a complete 180 degree turn, and the family helps the man until you, Lisa, submit!

The same thing happens when men from our country marry Russian women. The arrive, learn English, get documentation and they vanish.

..If all goes as we think it will and we see we love each other even more while my stay in Morocco we are to be married during my stay or start initializing paperwork....I think I first talked about marriage myself because we have went over each's views and what we would like out of a marriage,,,,, It was my choice to do quick marriage in Morocco instead of USA but we will be renewing our vows in the USA and having a small wedding ceremony so my two daughters can attend....

Quick marraige is yet another red flag. Spontaneous people make quick and silly decisons and buy things more easily. That's a sales trick.

.He doesn't want to be an illegal immigrant to the USA and we both agreed to be patient with the VISA wait....We are not sure which Visa to file since we will be married in Morroco...do we still do a Fiance Visa or a spouse visa. and which visa will take longer to get him home to the USA? Another question we have is once we are married he will have an automatic Visa Number given but if I understand correctly, there may be a waiting list for that particular visa filed and if so it could take ever how long until his name moves up the litst.....Can anyone help me with this info that has been through this......and despite what Luigi says...I know in my heart he is a good man but yes muslim but I have to say not all Muslims are bad or cheaters or scammers until proven otherwise.

Ugh....here we go again with the " not all (insert religon here) men are bad". I've covered this excuse many times on here.

Unless there is reason for me to doubt this man,

So far, the age difference and quick marriage are plenty of reason to worry

I will stand by him and will gladly take him as my husband.....He is not what I call poor...but to him he is cause like me....he lives paycheck to paycheck and very little savings and he lives in his fathers home but here in USA it would be considered a mansion or a celibrity home.....I have seen much of home from a webcam and it is a beautiful home...breath-taking so he is one of the luckier Moroccans in his country.....He says he has no problem trading this lifestyle for a double wide manufactured home if it meant being with me and being happy...

Yeah, that seems to get mentioned on here lately. I know of some webcam girls who go to a suite with desiganted rooms like that and charge men to talk to them on-line. The background setting is sometimes quite lavish.

.He is kind patient, has never raised his voice,never anything negative to say about anyone including my ex who is not the best supporter of his children but Mohammed will only say he feels sorry for him and his choices in life. Right now he is having some slight medical issue that may require some surgery and he is hoping to put surgery off until after I leave cause he feels he will not be himself since surgery will possibly take two months to fully recover.

If only I had a nickel everytime I heard the hospital excuse. Funny, I signed for up for a Catholic singles website once and in the course of three months got hit the "hospital/heatlh" excuse five times......It's really hard to tell if some of these are true or not. My aunt and uncle, who are now divorced, got married because my uncle wanted to get married and told her he had cancer and didn't have much time left. I really have to roll my eyes at that.

He has some internal bleeding but before Lugi or anyone is quick to post against him...His brother in law is a surgeon and will be doing his surgery for free....some reason he feels he has to meet me first before surgery incase something bad happens to him....I tried to convince him to have surgery now but he will not have it unless his condition worsens,...

Seems like he could be just trying to speed this along to get you to make a quicker decsion. Less time for you to think, then.

He says we have waited too long to meet and I already had to postpone my visit once due to work schedule not getting approved....Before you say anything luigi cause I know you always follow my posts and have something negative to post I do not have anything to prove to you or anyone here with my explainations but i do want the women who stumble on this blog as I have to know that not all these men are bad.

Obviously, you are TRYING to prove something to me and to others on here and declare your love. I've seen this kind of thing before, Lisa. If you didn't have anything to prove, you would have no cause to look for this on-line . I'll bet that a search engine directed you to this site.

The reality is, you don't even know this man. You think you do, and you want me to sit here and applaud you, I'm guessing, but you CANNOT get to know someone for real until you spend a good deal of time with them IN PERSON.

To say otherwise defies all concept of human communication.

This is the second time you have said "not all these men are bad". You're right, they are not, and that isn't the issue. Most Muslim men will marry Muslim women.

Have you ever noticed how it's always Western women in these relationships who defend the men on here? Ever notice how other Moroccans think more along the lines I do, because they are worried about how their culture is being potrayed by the scammers?

Until proven differently I will stand by my Fiance' just as he trusts me and that I am a good person and I have to trust him too or this relationship will be doomed from the start and I will not let anyone destroy it..

You HAVE to trust him????? You don't have to trust ANYBODY, Lisa! This is absolutely ridiculous! You are trying to prove this to me and referencing me and nearly calling me out and after that lenghty declaration of "love" ( I don't think it's real, matrimonial love) you HAVE to trust him!

Folks, this is EXACTLY what happens in a quick marriage. I HAVE to trust him, I MUST, or I won't be happy!

In a successful, happy marriage, you don't HAVE to trust, you just do! But you can't can you, Lisa? Because you don't know for sure! That is why you are talking about me in particular and it's why you are on here, isn't it?

You don't think that sounds desperate, Lisa? My word, dear, get your head cleared here! This Mohammed has you RIGHT where he wants you!

.It will be at God's mercy or our faults but not by haters or people here who may have an axe to grind so to speak cause they were too naive to keep a watchful eye on their belove's behaviour and attitude and character......I will try and keep everyone posted after my trip Nov 21st.

Somehow, I doubt that you'll be talking about God's mercy if this turns out sour, which it's looking like it will.

Haters, huh? Thanks.

Too naive? Tell me, Lisa, you posted this on October 11 at 9 am in the morning. Where was your man when you writing that? Do you know what he does and where he is? How do you keep an eye on him, hm?

When I was dating my myspace woman, I would defend her, and in one case when I was, she was cheating on me. Nice, huh? The same thing may have happened to poster sash earlier this year.

Look, Lisa, I know how you feel about this man, I know that you think this is the real deal, but people who play games of VISA scams, money scams or relish in drama for their own sick pleasure know are experts at pushing people's buttons.

Listen, one of the key issues here is that I don't think you yourself or some of the women on here realize what sneaky crooks navigate the internet. I grew up with satelliiete TV, and I thought that was bad enough, but when the internet came out, it made every other form of media look like a petting zoo.

I probably do sound harsh, but you really cannot go into this with your mind asleep, as JRR Tolkein would say.

I am telling you being in the same age range as this man, Lisa, that if you were talking about a fling, well, okay, fine. But a marraige??? It doesn't happen often. If he were an American, my advice would be no different.

Many of the posts on here probably refer to scams, but of the ones that are not, the age difference, the culture difference and just not really knowing the person is going to account for the other failures. So, when you think about it, the chance for success goes down.

You seem like a decent person, and I would hate to see you get taken of advantage. Yet, all the arrows point to that direction, Lisa. No one wants to hear that thier relationship won't work. I didn't, and it took me several grand and a broken heart to realize it.

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