Lisa, please read---Married Turkish man, divorce, family, immigration, Yasemin, please weigh in

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Oct 20, 2008 at 14:35

Lisa, I am glad that you shared your story with us on here, and I'm sure that in of itself wasn't easy.

I think you may want to sit down and get a glass of water, because you are in a very volatile situation.

Dating someone who is still married over the internet is more common than you think, and I won't lie to you: It will be hard no matter how you roll the dice, and you can bet real money the wife and her family, for that matter, are not about to let these girls leave Turkey and move to a different country.

The wife of this man will not just allow her daughters to leave. He can be arrogant and preach how he's the man of the house all he wants, but some areas of Turkey are quite secular, just like North Africa. My friend from Morocco, she goes out on the boat with her friends, and has people take pics of her in a shorter skirt and bikini.

I'm not saying he does this, but just keep that in mind, and that not all Muslims live conservative, strict lifestyles.

You talk how good he is with kids. My ex-uncle was good with kids, too. He just could not stop hitting my aunt. See, Lisa, it's important to understand that scammers and liars will have their geninue moments, because it's just human nature. The same was true with my myspace woman. Yeah, we had our fun too.

This is a green card scam all the way, and that's he's so willing to leave his wife---or he's made you THINK that; he may actually be just saying that so that he can use you to get his family into the USA.
That has happened many times before. It doesn't matter if he's honest about his marital status or his family or favorite color of ice cream. If a man, from any culture no less, knows that if he opens his heart to the truth to tell a woman and he is certain she will be fine with it, he will do so.

I'm not convinced that he loves you, Lisa, not in the same way that he loves his family. See, on top of all this drama, you've got the basics of on-line communication, basically, it means that real, matriomonial love cannot happen on-line. The person you love, or like, Lisa, probably isn't real. I can say that because I've been down that road before. Because of the communication gap, our minds can play tricks on us, and we idealize who we are talking to. But we can't feel their breath, see deep into their eyes, feel their touch or hold them close. Words are only 30% of communication.

This man is clearly toying with you Lisa, and the fact that he is open about it doesn't mean it's sweet or romantic, it means that he's desperate. It's not often that they are this open about it or let their insecurity leak. In a sadistic, sick way, I think you are fortunate to have these gleaming red flags, Flags I wish I had sooner with my myspace woman.

Seriously, Lisa, he's just using you, the guilt trips, the jealousy, these are all techniques that players, people who play games and scammers use like a sailor uses wind.

The best thing you can do is stop all communication with him. I know this is not easy for you to hear despite his obvious deceit, but

Seriously, block his number, uninstall your chat programs if you have to, and just get away from your computer. Spend time with people in real life, your friends, your family.

It's very clear to me he is not telling the truth.

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