isalover

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Nov 6, 2008 at 17:51

isalover, on the one hand I think you should stay away from this man as, from what you wrote, it seems to me that he has little respect for women. Some men can be very ruthless, and sometimes it's hard for emotionally generous women to even imagine that they could be such sociopaths. How can you trust someone who blatantly tells you he wants a green card marriage? He could treat you the same way when he gets bored of you, if he sees women as objects. It hurts to hear but it's even more hurtful to be tricked and played by such "men".

Some people find it so easy to say "I love you". Strong words like that shouldn't be thrown around so easily, but unfortunately they mean nothing at all to some people and are just a small ticket into getting what they want. It's like when you save up loads of money for the latest hot car, & then trade it in for another one when you see something better. If he truly loved you, he would tell his wife the truth. He clearly has no plans to divorce his wife... would you be happy to live as someone's 2nd wife? And how often does he see his daughters in Turkey? I think you shouldn't go any further with this man until he is clear about his relations with his wife, or at least until they are divorced. If he respects you he'll have just one wife - you. It's a really bad idea to get involved with a married man, and it signifies something suspicious from the start. Say you married him, would you trust him, after knowing that he has no problems with cheating on his Turkish wife (who he once also told "I love you" to) ? I don't think the Turkish court would reject the divorce, the fact is, he could remain married to her for life, and marry you in the us as well. I've heard it so many times, there's ALWAYS an excuse: the court rejected it, or next month bla bla bla.

By the end, he could have a whole harem of secret brides! Please don't let him use you, it's a shame that most of the women who seem to be getting played on here have such good hearts.

On the other hand, these are just opinions, not facts. Maybe he is genuine, and maybe he will be the love of your life, but even so, don't marry him so quickly. Marriage shouldn't be rushed like that, especially not for a green card. Rushed marriages cause a lot of problems later on.

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