Thx to Luigi

Submitted by KarenG (United States), Nov 19, 2008 at 16:15

I very much appreciate your comments.

The thing is this, I am not searching for love, although the attention is nice. You raise your eyebrows at him doing the marriage interview? Well, I think that is in part because I am not evidently falling for it all or that he is actually likes me and is surprised himself. (He has expressed this sentiment to me several times.)

I'm not conducting a marriage interview b/c I'm not interested in getting married. Or having more children. Or letting any more men take financial advantage of me. And, through our discussions, I have made all these things clear, including the latter--as I described to him what my soon to be ex husband ended up doing. I also told him I will have huge financial burdens in the future as a result of my divorce. I mean, people are transparent. He may have my number, but I might have his as well. I do think at our last meeting, he may have figured out that I will not be scammed. I saw him on the dating website last night, but he did not contact me at all. I have a strong feeling my original question is now moot. I doubt he'll contact me again.

And, btw, he has not offered to help raise my kids; he said that seeing how I treat my children will tell him alot about me. He said that before I met him. The age difference is 5 years, but I questioned him on that because, generally speaking, I'm not interested in dating a man more that a couple of years younger than me for the very reasons you mentioned.

The jealousy concerns me as well. But his national background has nothing to do with my reaction to his jealousy, although I appreciate that if I lived his foreign country, things could go horribly awry. However, I think it's pretty clear he doesn't want to go back. One of the reasons he said he liked me was that he believed I would move to Europe with him, not now of course. lol He has spent much time living in Western countries.

Of course, all of this is well and good. And you are right, Luigi. I could fall for him and I looked up these sites because my mom mentioned the visa thing and I saw many similarities. Oddly, though, the guy I was seeing prior, an American, also discussed moving in and my getting pregnant within the first week of dating.

Sheesh.

Thanks again for the advice, Luigi. I also appreciate any more comments here.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".