Dear Jamtown: Please read----webcam, Muslim Moroccan man marriage, visa

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Nov 25, 2008 at 11:38

Hi there Jamtown! Welcome, and thanks for sharing!

First of all, I want to address your question about fear:

If you are scared of a man, why be with him? That does not make much sense to me.

And if you are scared, well, that is perfectly understandable. Allow to shed some on this:

A lot of women come onto this board because they are not so much scared, but uncertain. I can clearly tell from your post that you are not sure, and it's no wonder!

Jamtown, you have actually met this man ONCE. How can you possibly feel certain about marriage? You have the internet and webcam, yes, but you're getting a mere fraction of the communication that you would from a real, in-person date.

I think that you really need to ask yourself if you would tolerate this from a man from your own country?

Also, Jamtown, the other thing to consider: a quick marraige. You say it has been a year, and since you've only met him once, that is not very much time. Men who try and pressure into a quick marraige usually have some hidden motive up their sleeve.

Would someone REALLY take an entire year just to use you? The answer is a resounding, affirmative YES.

I myself was used for a year and half by an American woman I met over the internet, and she lived an hour away. She would tell me how she loved me to my face, but every other week she would have cybersex with a different guy using the laptop I had brought her, and she used the car I was making payments on to have sex with other men. The issue is that we were dating, and she was misleading me.

Also, Jamtown, a lot of on-line, international relationships do not break down right away as Dr. Pipes writes in his blog above the comments section. All the events he talks about DO happen, but those are extreme cases.

It usually takes more time for the relationship to break down. It can be days, months, even years. Reader sash shared a story with me back in Feb. about how she married a Moroccan man and he started cheating on her three years into the marriage. I know the same thing happened to an American man who married a Russian woman. He even went out of his way to get her acquainted with the local Russian community, and what did she do? Stayed long enough to learn English and get a drivers lisence and then POOF! She was gone.

When you get invovled with people like this, they are willing to wait out the years to get what they want. The second and third world as they are often called tend to have much more patience than we do here in the West, and for them, the wait is well worth it.

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