For Darcy--On-line, webcam, Moroccan man,

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Dec 4, 2008 at 19:15

Hi Darcy!

Thank you for sharing that! To make this quick and easy, I am going to respond directly.

i have had an online love with an moroccan man, we talke every day and would spend everynight together as he would watch over me as i fell asleep and he would sleep to on cam. i have been with him since the end of april and we have had our hard times and many wonderful times and we have dreamed of the day to be together.

Having a good time or a bad time on-line is nothing like the real thing, even with a webcam. You cannot sense his presence, feel his touch, his breath, his lips ect.

i could go on and on about how much i love and trust him and believe in him, i have given him many many tests and he has surpassed them all, i have been the one that has not come through on promises to him, do to my own doubts because of my fears. he calls me his life and future, he is talented popular musician and all he focuses on is me and our relationship. he is wonderful to me so here is the problem, i have again become fearful do to my own insecurities possibly...

What tests, Darcy? Trying to get him to add you under another user as you pose as someone else? YM can give that away.

And what promises have you not come through on? Sending him money?

Darcy, listen very carefully: You are not being insecure by questioning this. What draws most women to this site is doubt, and I firmly believe that doubt is part of your natural intuition telling you that in reality and objectively, you really do not love and trust this man. Real love and real trust just does not happen over the internet.

i was suppose to be in morocco to marry him now and i didnt go. i stayed home and have been crying ever since, i dont know why im afraid to go to him, i say it because of leaving my child what if something happened, i am 34 and have traveled many countries and places but never an islamic country and maybe i fear that, i dont know but all i know is i am afraid to tell him truth of my fears and i know i will be dissapionting him again. i think well maybe if i find a woman in same situation to travel with, u know safety in numbers thing, but then i think should i listen to my gut and maybe i fear all this for bigger reasons, i dont know, but i do believe he is truthful and i have no reasons to doubt him, but he has reasons to doubt me and now i backed out again.

I can see why you feel this way, and no doubt that your man has been much more considerate than other men you have been with.

i have never been more heartbroken and sad of my decision not to go to him. has anyone been in same position as me? can anyone give me advice? i feel broken and well like im a bad person for letting him down. i think me not going to him this time will truly end us because of the shame and doubts he has to face now from his family. i just dont know if i am doing the right thing.

This actually is very common for on-line situations, when you have the where-with-all to actually question what is going on. So, give yourself credit for that.

The fact that he has to "deal with" his family---may not even be true. The more I read about this, the less I like it. Here is why:

1) Love and trust that happens too soon is a definite red flag in any relationship. I just got out of a deal where the girl I was dating said she was madly in love with me and did not want anyone else and she promised to never hurt---after a week and three days of dating. Three days after those promises, she got back together with her ex fiance.

BTW, she and I met in real life.

2) This could be a sob story. Scammers and liars alike love to pull this. The whole "I'll have to deal with my family"---don't let that bother you. He has a responsibilty to himself to understand that when you enter a relationship, it may not work out. To think otherwise is not fair, to either of you.

3) No solid, healthy relationship needs third party confirmation or advice from strangers.

Darcy, I know this is not easy for you to read, but please do not make the mistake of going back to this man. You say you know is real, but your heart, mind and body are telling you otherwise. That is the source of the confusion, I think.

Darcy, please feel free to come back on here and talk to us as you need to.

---

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".