Question to Muslim Girl

Submitted by Anna (United States), Dec 4, 2008 at 21:01

Hi Muslim Girl,

Ugh. I am so sad to read your post. I really thought a lot of the posts were due on big part about inability to understand the culture and possibly, a bit of prejudice towards cultures different than our own. I am about to marry a Muslim man, from Tunisia. The relationship has been a rollercoaster. Mostly me being 'bad' (in his eyes).

The relationship began with me not being interested at all in this man, after a year of insisting (knowing full well I was seeing other men and just in general, I am a woman who is very strong, independent, has lived a lot, has graduate degrees, acts, models and so forth, so all this, while it bothers him tremendously, seems to be very attactive to him as well because he has begged to be with me. That is, until, of course, I fell for him, after about 8 months, then somehow he managed to become elusive, to make ME beg him to marry him (I have never, but he says things like, you see, why I don't take the relationship to the next step and marry you, or things like I am not good enough yet etc).

Frankly, I find it all fascinating, but exhausting. I wonder, how he will behave once married. He is also very sweet, obviously. But the throat cutting threats if I cheat, the threat to beat me, etc., I've never dated a man like that. The sex is of course amazing. I am going to meet his family next year to his country.

How do these men manage to get a woman from completely uninterested to basically, addicted to them? I am extremely attractive (I am a model) and this obviously only increases his insecurity and jealousy and control. He thinks all my male friends I've slept with, checks my phone, etc., but then he also 'disappears' does not answer, etc., I believe it is part of the control game to make me want him more. I don't know. Any ideas will be much appreciated!

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