The "I told you so" attitude

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Dec 5, 2008 at 13:53

I also wonder at this. I've been hurt & betrayed in the past but I would never let the actions of a few messed up people stop my ability to love.

Neither do I. But if you look for this on the internet and overseas or the lethal combination of both, you're setting yourself up for another runaround because real love and trust do no happen over the internet, phone or by mail. Face it, Lina, you are on here and reading this blog for a reason.

That way, they've won. Your responses are very well-informed/realistic & you're definitely an asset to the site (especially as most predators prey on the most optimistic women), but I think instead of just pointing out the negative possibilities, it's better to play Devil's Advocate - don't tell a woman to just forget about a guy as he's bad news, but simply warn her of the possible red flags. Cause a lot of women on here have already been hurt enough by men & are probably feeling pretty pessimistic about love, so the last thing they need is some kind of "Told You So" attitude.

I don't have the "I Told You So" attitude, Lina. That is mean and cruel, and you will not find me doing that. This is not really about winning or losing a discussion, the women (and increasingly men) who come on here asking for advice are SERIOUS, and this is not a game to them.

I have pointed out several times that many individuals on this blog are divorced, have some sort of mental health issue or a combination of the two. I also have found that the internet is a haven for those who in some, way , shape or form, feel isolated socially. How they feel, Lina, is understandable and I've been there before so I understand the feelings.

It's not as though they come on here all happy and joyous and big bad Luigi ruins their fun. Read their posts carefully, Lina. They come on here confused, even bewildered. That is because their natural intuition is telling them they CANNOT love or trust their men deep down.....there simply is not enough communication because there is not enough contact.

Mistakes are there to be learned from, sometimes the hard way, but that's life.

When you're stuck in a foreign country like Saudi Arabia and bound to a conservative man for life, I'd say that's a pretty costly lesson. Or maybe the like stories on where women spend thousands of euros on a wild goose chase? There's plenty of people in the Third World would love to receive a big chunk of a paycheck or brag to their friends about how they are shagging a Western woman.

We can't live an incubator lifestyle, staying away from anyone different & being suspicious of everyone like in Soviet Russia.

No, but the people you should be suspicious of are people who spend all their time on-line looking for social interactions. People who spend a lot of time on-line are almost always up to no good. I have observed that they often suffer from a mental illness or have some alterior motive.

The world would be a dull place if no one took risks, & no one got anywhere by not taking risks.

If you want to waste even more months---if not years---of your life, get used and lose thousands of more dollars, hey, why not? If you're a man and doing this is, you in are, in some cases, risking your life.

Not only that, there would be no biracial children if everyone stuck to their own race!

Like it or not, MOST people will NOT date interacially or date someone from a different culture.

Also, by the racial classifcation scheme that is commonly used, many men from the Middle East would be considered Caucasian. In fact, that is what the word "Iran" refers to---birthplace of the Aryan race. So interracial is not the word I would use, but you're more likely to have something in common with say a very dark man of West African descent who was raised in your country as opposed to someone with the same concentration of melanin in their skin as you but from a conservative Muslim locale.

Are you aware, Lina, that the Saami tribes of Northern Scandinvanvia are more closely related to North Africans than they are to Swedes or Finns? Did you know that the Anglo-Saxons of Germany are more closely related to the Persians than some of the Mediterranean peoples?

Just look at the patterns on this forum: Most of the women on here are divorced! Dating a Muslim or man from the Middle East was NOT even their first choice, Lina!

That is how numerous inter cultural relationships come to be! Because they are sick of dating people from their race and/or culture! They often feel like there is no other choice!

Is that a basis for real love? I really wonder.

Most Moroccans will marry Moroccans, Most Caucasian women will marry Caucasisan men, ect ect. The census statistics overwhelming reflect that

The media and educational institutions blow this way out of proportion to pander to minorities and white guilt. It's as simple as that.

And no one is wrong for loving someone different to them, if a woman gets cheated, it's the man's problem, not hers, for taking advantage of her love like that. I know you think I'm a foolish romantic for saying things like "every experience is unique" but although similar scams are common in certain areas, these countries aren't full of cookie-cutter people.

This is a rationalization, Lina, and I've seen the "but my relationship is unique" excuse on here before. Just about every single woman who posts on here has that hope.

I think that pretty much everyone on here knows that not all Moroccan or whatever culture of men are not ALL bad, and generalizations usually happen out of pain and bitter memories, I think, but then again, if you take Morocco, there are 33 million + people who live there. Most of them are not screwing around on-line at 3 am local time, and they would not have positive population growth if all the men there were bad.

Honestly, Lina, do you and the other woman on here REALLY expect to find a BETTER man than you've had before by going on the internet at 3 am local time? I mean, do you REALLY think thats when all the nice guys are on-line?

You know why its not safe to go into a back alley at night, right? Because that's when all the unemployed, immoral people are roaming around cover of darkness. It's the SAME thing with the internet!

Long distance relationships can be tough, but if both parties have a strong urge to pursue it, things will turn out successfully. Just my 2 cents lol.

Most of the relationships discussed on this board are scams. Of those that are remaining, one use the laws of probability to determine that cultural differences (not so much race) will see to it that some of those do not work out. Also, the hassel of the distance will bear down on others over time.

So, as you can imagine, the success rate is not very high and that will certainly not change.

For over 200,000 years modern humans have found partners without the internet. It is not a necessary utility for happiness; in fact, Lina, I have found it brings quite the opposite.

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