Thank you Elizabeth

Submitted by Isis (Australia), Dec 7, 2008 at 22:51

I read this post after your previous short post and I felt that you were not supporting your daughter in the event that this episode in her life will end traumatic. But I now offer my apologies because I can see that no matter what happens she will always be your daughter.

I did say that you are treating her as a 12 year old rather than a 40 year old and I still stick by this. I feel that she will have to learn by her her own mistakes on this one. She will end up emotionally and financially drained if she goes ahead with her plans to be with this man. Although my experience is with Egyptians and they can be far more "out front" in their deception, the scam is the same.

Please read Zella's post carefully as she outlines the modus operandi perfectly. Already there are warning signs with the mother being an up front contact and the lawyer conveniently present to prepare the visa. This visa premise is utter nonsense and if your daughter pays the money she will certainly never see it again. There could be an instance of the man actually falling sick himself and wanting money for a life saving operation - this is the one that is common in Egypt. If it is not him it will be his Mother or Father as Zella mentions. There will be more pressures for money as time goes on - he wants to start a business, his brother is getting married, his sister needs new school clothes and books, he needs a car to drive his crippled Mother to the doctor and shopping and so on and on and on.

I also find it hard to believe that this man is not already married as middle eastern men marry in their mid twenties and start a family immediately - so there will be more children than your grand daughter involved in this scam. A divorce in Islam is not looked upon favourable and will bring shame to both families. So him divorcing his current wife to marry your daughter will never happen - he will just have 2 wives. In Islam men are permitted to take 4 wives at one time so she may be one of many.

In closing, I believe that the constant demand for money, the constant need for her to travel (he will not be allowed into America), the constant anger and frustration and now that the seed of doubt has been sown, will see this relationship falter before it goes anywhere. You can just hope that when the money runs out she will come to her senses - but at what cost?

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