thanks Isis

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Dec 8, 2008 at 05:20

Glad you found some relevance in my comment. :-)

Actually, I met my man offline (who is also Egyptian!) with a similar mindset to you - I wasn't actively searching for an Egyptian man like most people seem to assume. We can't control who we fall in love with, sometimes you just connect with a person. I think it depends on your character, I'm also quite a cautious person & I have to know everything before I get myself into something, whereas some women it seems, consider marrying a man within a week of "knowing" them - which in actual fact makes the man respect a girl even less. By the sound of the history of meeting your man, you've found a good, legitimate relationship. I guess you and I (and a few others on here) have been some of the more fortunate ones in terms of interracial dating.

Some women seem to think that by marrying their Muslim partner, they'll be immersed into some sort of fairytale, & treated like Queen Nefertari or such. Sometimes it is the case, but a woman does have a complex role in Islam. From my research in Islam, I've found viewpoints vary from person to person. A lot of people seem to have their own interpretation of the religion. Some Muslim women in relationships are unveiled (Lalla Salma Bennani as a more famous example), while others live conservative lives. It depends who you're with. But it's true about Egypt becoming more conservative, I've seen a huge change in the dynamics of the country from when I first visited, although some Egyptians are becoming more Western-savvy. One Egyptian man I know told me that the internet for example is creating a bad influence on young Egyptians.

I often wonder at women's fascination with middle eastern men. I think part of it is to do with the woman running away from grey reality, another is to do with the most simple female desires. Western men are becoming ever more metrosexual, & even judgemental towards women. Whereas Arabic men tend to be more macho, therefore more likely to provide security, & are more appreciative of the female form. A long-distance relationship isn't something I'd actively seek out, there's trust issues, travel costs, limited intimacy, and all kinds of other drama! So I can't understand why anyone would glamorize it. It's hard enough in reality, so how a woman can be fine with all this on the Internet stuns me. Even Google won't help much once you're in a conservative Muslim household! But sometimes long-distance relationships can be a good test of faith, as they show how far you'd go to be with someone.

I also came across this site for similar reasons, & a lot of women are by nature interested in relationship stories - just pick up any Women's magazine! It's absurd for anyone to assume that all readers/posters are on here because they don't trust their man. I wasn't even in a relationship when I first came here! Making rash judgements like that can be extremely hurtful, & a cheap shot, I've dealt with it several times, in reality & online. Not all Egyptian men are insatiable casanovas afraid of commitment. What matters is that you trust your instinct. The rest is between you & your man, no one else.

Good luck with your relationship, and I'm sure it will get even stronger.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".