Algerian man, dating, Muslim, Algeria, visa, age difference, older woman, older man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Dec 8, 2008 at 17:51

Hello again Karen, I am glad that you have shared that with us!

You meet this man frequently in person, so that gives you a decisive advantage over many of the women on here.

The thing that really bothers me about this is that he seems to bring up marriage a lot. This does not seem normal to me, because he is essentially talking about the relationship. Men who are as skilled as he seems to be at the dating game ought to know that talking the relationship a lot will drive a woman away.

I know that he is nice Karen, but you know what? The myspace woman who stole from and cheated on me was nice too. So were the fake Nigerian and Russian women I used to talk to on-line were to nice to me as well. ALL these little visa flings start off nice, Karen. Why? Simple: In order to get a woman to bite for a visa, she has to become emotionally invested. You may have seen some of your peers on here flailing at me about how their relationship is real is how its destiny and all that jazz. Well, the scammers have got them hook, line and sinker.

The intercourse question: who knows for sure? Maybe he really does want to wait, or maybe he does not want to get all mixed up with someone who will not marry him just to stay in the USA?

These are the kinds of things to consider, Karen, and I am just worried that if you fall for this man it's going to be a bad situation where you will either get used or heartbroken. I am concerned that he persued you so much, and it would not have been such a big deal if he did not know the signals of your lack of interest then, but he clearly knows what he doing, and he seems to be slowly weaving his way for a visa.

If there is one thing I could say to you: these men are very patient, and will bide their time. I see the same thing with Russian women when they date American men. The fall-out period for these relationships can take months, if not years. It's not often the quick disaster that Dr. Pipes describes above, even though it is true.

As far as having sex goes, well, who knows? Personally, I'm not a fan of that , I think it complicates things immensely, makes it harder to leave someone should that be necessary and it's just plain wrong, so I will not be advising anyone to start that.

But really, Karen, it could be just because he's religious, but it also could be he does not want to be intimate with someone that quite frankly, he may leave soon. I'm sure you're an attractive woman, Karen, and don't that's the issue.

Even if he did have sex with you and calls you special, it may not mean anything. That sounds harsh, I realize, but its what men do. Don't think that if a religious man has sex with you that he has changed or will change. Some younger men like that do it just to get their kicks but in the end they will ultimately settle down with someone of their culture and faith.

One last thing, and it really is a good thought to all the readers: your man does not have to be bin-laden loyalist to be a bad boyfriend or a scammer.

Just keep that female intuition on, Karen. It should serve you well. I'm sure this post is not what you wanted to hear, and I do not expect you to suddenly pack and leave immediately based on what I have said, but, feel free to check back, post and really think about this, Karen, because I just do not see a happy ending here for you.

-Luigi

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